


I'm Kind Of There But Not Quite

by bridge2X



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Soulmates, Vegard is a ghost, age swapping, but it's getting kind of long so prepare, maybe not a ghost but something similar, metaphysical lovestory, so much fluff and sweetness you gonna puke, they aren't brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bridge2X/pseuds/bridge2X
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So here's the thing - I dared to commit the essential crime in this fandom and made them not being Ylvis! But I didn't move TOO far away. Well, not much going on here these days so I hope I get you to read anyway!<br/>Imagine an O-fag-aged Bård who doesn't have a brother, falling for a ghost in form of a about 20-yrs-old Vegard... here we go!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of imagine Vegard's new house being the place to let this all happen.  
> Oh, yeah, well... you could figure by the picture, I guess! :P

It is a bright and sunny summer's day when they arrive. The air is still and the midday heat is gathering in the sunny spots between the shadows of the old trees. The boy lets himself float slowly above the grass, bare millimeters from the blades, his eyes almost closed against the brightness, lazily following the quick back and forth of the wasps doing their business.

He does what he's always doing - he waits. For things to happen, for time to pass.

He allows a gust to carry him up in the air about a meter and then settle down again but it's just too slow to keep him entertained.

When he hears the engine of a car getting closer he quickly brings himself back into an upright position. No one has been here for months! He gets all excited. Maybe it's just someone looking after the house. But maybe - he almost doesn't dare hoping - maybe someone will move in finally so he won't be alone any longer!

He hurries to the driveway and watches the car arrive in front of the house. It's an old, dusty Opel Vectra, spilling out two young, blond men in jeans and t-shirt.

Oh...! They don't look as if they were potential candidates to live in a big house like this. Maybe they just got lost and are looking for someone to ask for the way. But then the one who drove pulls out a key. So there is hope!

The boy takes a closer look at them. The one fumbling for the right key among the fat bunch is a long, lean guy in his early twenties, his dirty-blonde, wavy hair down to his shoulders. The other one is shorter and a bit chubbier, clearly just a teenager.

Beside their differences in body shape the fact that they are brothers is so obvious, it's almost laughable. If he couldn't tell by their faces he could by the irreverently, teasing way they talk to each other.  
The boy slides through the wall into the hallway and awaits them from the inside. He doesn't bother to get out of the way when they finally get the door open and step inside. The older one frowns when their bodies cross. Must be random, he swears he didn't make any effort to make himself solid!

They spread to explore the building and the boy decides to follow the older one who inspects each room with a rising worry on his face.

He does not like it! This disapproval. No! He doesn't want to be alone any longer!

"Bård?" Mr. Frown gets called by his brother. So that's his name. Bård. Now that he knows his name he can as well stay, too bad if he learned that for nothing!

Shrugging, the man called Bård turns and walks downstairs from where he has been called.  
He enters the kitchen and slaps the door of the fridge closed that the younger one has opened.

"What is it?"

"You've seen? It's fully equipped! You even get a dishwasher!"

"Yeah. Its great..."

"You don't like it?"

"Uh, don't know. It's fucking big!"

The young man leans against the desk and wraps his slender arms around his chest, defensively in a way.  
"And all the rooms need a make over! You know what a bunch of work that is?"  
His brows are furrowed and the boy wonders if that deep line between his eyes will ever smooth if he smiles. Because he hasn't since they arrived.

"Can't you just keep it like that?"

"Are you for real? I can't have the girls living in a room like that! Isn't it bad enough that I need other people's help to make sure my family got a roof above their heads? I can't make them live in the dirt, can I?"

Ohh... the girls! He has kids. And they move in like properly! The boy makes himself sit over the sink with crossed legs, chin propped on his hands, ready to take in every word that comes from the young man's lips. This is all too exciting. Life will be back in these walls!

"I would be more stressed by the fact that it's at the arse of the world out here!" the little brother groans. "You'd pay me a lot of money to live at such a place..."

"It's not like we have a choice, really. We have to give up the apartment next week - I'm absolutely thankful Truls offered me this."

He steps over to the window and opens the screeching wings, leaning outside. "The garden is gorgeous, isn't it?"

The boy couldn't agree more. It's his favorite place to kill time because it's so full of life and interesting things if you pay close enough attention.

One of his little friends, the wasps, fly in, crossing the kitchen and the teenager shoos it away with an annoyed hand gesture. People! Why do they always have to be so aggressive towards little creatures?  
The boy concentrates in an attempt to not getting visible but solid enough to cup his hand around the insect and lead it towards the open window again. That's when he leans back too far and his bottom involuntarily touches the tap and opens it.

With a silent curse he flies up and flees to the other side of the room.

The young man called Bård is startled and turns around quickly with waving arms.

"Shock...! What the hell?" He glares from his brother to the sink and back again. "How did that happen? Was that you?"

The teenager cackles while his brother moves to make the water stop running. "I cant hold it! Your house is haunted! That's brilliant!"

"Shut your face man! Don't you dare telling Maria something like that! She will dislike the place anyway, without any ghosts!"

The boy is still a little shaky. How could that have happen to him? It's not even half an hour and he already reveals that he exists! He needs to be much more careful! Anxiously he watches the man who is minutely inspecting the kitchen with attentive, bright blue eyes before he moves and closes the window.

He'd better keep a certain distance for now.

They leave soon after and the boy sits on the roof to follow the car as long as he can, his heart light and still bouncing with excitement. Soon. Soon things are going to change.

 

 

Two days passes and then they are back. A truck, some cars and so many people. The man named Bård, his brother, a petite blonde woman who is probably his wife, two sweet little girls with daddy's hair who the boy immediately falls in love with and a confusing amount of men and women who most likely are there only to help moving all the furniture and boxes.

It's so much activity and buzzing that the boy is quickly overwhelmed. He decides to stay out of the way and joins the little girls in the garden. The younger one is only a toddler. Unruly curls over huge blue eyes, a bit of dirt sticking around her mouth is she taken care of conscientiously by her older sister who is about five and obviously a great fan of making salad from all kinds of weeds and flowers. The boy entertains them with letting blossoms fly through the air like butterflies or making pretty little bugs running along their arms or legs which makes them giggle. He stops when the younger one starts to eat them.

He stays with them when they have lunch on the bench at the back of the house - sandwiches, fed by a middle-aged woman they call grandma. He hangs out with them until the truck leaves and all the helpers, one after the other, say their goodbyes and drive away.

Then their parents come to take them inside. They make a beautiful couple the both of them, he even prettier than her, as they stand there in the high grass, a bit tousled and dusty from all the work, both almost looking too young to be parents to such big girls.

But the boy can see the love they have for them. The man who's name he knows is Bård picks the older girl up and let her ride on his back as they walk inside the house to take possession of their new home.

The boy quickly hushes through the building and finds out immediately that they haven't taken over all of the house, only a few bedrooms and the ground floor area. It's a big house though and there's just the four of them so he isn't surprised.  
The girls love their new room although it's not even set up properly, probably because their father wants to paint their walls first as he said the first day. He now stands in the hallway with his hands in his pockets, gazing back and forth between the doors around him with an insecure expression on his face.

"You're sure with the bedrooms?" he asks loudly.

The woman peaks out of one of the doors, giving him a wide smile. "Isn't it a wonderful opportunity that we have that much space? You'll see it's perfect. I have to get up very early and that way you won't disturb me with your late night activities. You don't have to take care of being quiet all the time. You'll gonna love it, you'll see!"

The boy can sense that he's not happy although he nods and smiles and he wonders what their family life may looks like. He will find out soon.

 

 

The next day seems to be a Monday. He can't tell exactly because he lost track of calendar affairs long ago but the woman and the girls get up very early, shaking up the house with their morning routine and then they leave in the car.

The man stays in bed another hour and then he starts to prepare the girls' bedroom for getting a fresh layer of paint with not too much enthusiasm.

The boy sits down on the sill of the window, the man keeps open, because it's still so hot and at first that is all he needs, sitting and watch a living human being doing their every day business.

But after a while he feels like it isn't enough, feels like it would be nice to interact, to have an influence and he gets quite itchy because he's not used to it. He has never done something like that before.

Playing with the kids was different because they don't understand and they won't question it but interact with someone who could find out about him is like playing against the rules. He doesn't even know who set these rules or where they came from but they are like in his head and he has followed them as long as he remembers.

So he tries to focus on something else instead, like the flies buzzing around or the wind moving the trees outside but who could blame him for finding none of that interesting enough to keep his thoughts away from a living, breathing person he could be in contact with?

So he starts to think about what little things he could do to catch the man's attention, like chasing him around a bit.

The easiest is to cause some noises. That's why he sneaks into a corner where the girls' toys are still stored in white trash bags and ruffles the material a little so it rustles.

After a few tries he is successful because the man stops his painting, turns around and frowns, looking at the place the noises come from. The boy rustles again.

"Bloody hell, don't tell me it has mice in here!" the man mutters and steps over to the corner where he lifts a bag and cautiously waits for supposed vermin to flee.

The boys stays perfectly still until the man gives up and walks back to his paint before he starts the whole thing anew.

But the new tenant is smart and so he gets to set him into motion only a second time and then he decides to ignore the action in the corner.  
That's okay, the boy loves the challenge of finding new possibilities. He didn't use his mind for so long, it's almost exciting to come up with such small ideas.

He aims for the window next and puts some effort into pushing the dusty wing until it moves with a creaking sound.

Immediately the man turns his head towards the window. By the way his eyes widen and he takes a step back the boy can tell he's thinking of his brother's joke about the house being haunted which, well, it kind of is.

He decides to make sure he won't scare him because he seems to be a nice person, kind and a little troubled. There's no need to make him feel uncomfortable. So no scary things, just small, funny pranks.

The next hour passes by with crumbs of plaster flying through the room which the boy fumbled from a broken part of the roughcast underneath the windowsill. It's so entertaining to watch the man's attempts to figure out the source of the clicking noises or learn why there is dirt keeping to stick on his freshly cleaned brush.

There's a lot of irritation and running back and forth and head shaking and scalp scratching and the boy knows he causes the likable, blonde man a lot more work to do but he can't bother because it's just so much fun and, to be honest, it doesn't seem as if he's under a lot of pressure to finish.

The man moans annoyed, hands rested on his hips, kicking the paint roll he just cleaned for the third time aside, and the boy slides closer to let some dirt trickle into the rim of his shirt.

Being in reach he gets a little lost in admiring the man's strands of caramel hair that curls at the bottom of his nape. The summer heat and the work have their toll on him - the boy can see tiny drops of sweat gathering at the side of his neck, wetting the hair.

Before he can think straight about what he's doing the boy purses his lips and and blows a cool trace of air along the sensitive skin of the man's neck.

He gets to witness an instant reaction of goosebumps before the man slaps a hand on his nape with a hiss and turns around quickly, throwing himself with his back against the wall.

The boy startles and pulls back to the opposite side of the room straight.

What was he _thinking_? Why was he doing that?

With his heart bumping in his throat he watches his poor victim as he stands press against the wall, motionless, trying to scan the room with narrowed eyes, his gaze lingering here and there but never exactly hitting the spot where the boy sits on the unpacked boxes in the corner.

Eventually he turns his face into a resolute frown, pushes himself up from the wall and starts to clean the painting equipment standing on the floor. He obviously is tired of being pranked. Or painting. Or both.

The boy is relieved and slips nearer again. That could have ended worse! All while he had told himself to not overdo, to play nice! After all he is no spook in a cursed castle or something, is he?

He eyes the bent back of the lean guy in front of him where he is busy closing the paint bucket. His worn jeans sit quite low on his behind, a big part of his light blue pants peaking out. The boy is wondering if they will slide down eventually when he straightens up and suddenly finds himself struggling just anew to not tug on any part of his clothing. He suppresses a giggle and puts some distance between them. It's ridiculous that he should have such little self control! What if they moved out because of him? Then all the fun came to and end just like that!  
The man rubs his messy hands with a rag, grabs a bottle of water and sits down on the floor with a sigh. He leans his head against the freshly colored wall, takes a big gulp of water and then rests his arms on his propped up knees, closing his eyes.

Curiosity and restlessness making the boy forget about the promises he gave himself only minutes ago and he crawls nearer towards the man's legs when he isn't moving for so long that it becomes boring.

Carefully to not cause a sound or making any physical impact he leans forward until their faces are no more than a hand-breadth apart because he can't tell for anything in the world if his eyes are actually closed or not.

The man curls his nose with a sniffing sound, not moving otherwise.

"I can see you, you know?" he says.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I switch the POV every chapter. So this is Bård.

 

"I can see you, you know?" Bård says and slowly opens his eyes just in time to see a figure disappear through the opposite wall.

The view does not shock him as much as it should, he kind of guessed to find something like this.  
All through the day he felt something strange going on. Not only the mysterious noises and actions around him but a presence, like someone else was in the room with him.

To his own surprise he is only feeling irritated or even angry at times but never scared as one would assume in a sort of ghost situation like this. He just knows - what ever it is, haunting him, it is friendly, would do him no harm.

So it's curiosity mainly that makes him stand up now and rush to the door. If he is fast enough maybe he will catch a glimpse of that manifestation, what ever it is.

He can't tell if it is male or female, all he can say is that it is definitely human, wears something white, has dark hair - and that it is more afraid of him than the other way round.

At least the phantom person is good at hiding because Bård cannot find a trace of them in any of the upper rooms.

They...it... can one refer to a ghost as a person? He is not sure but he gives up searching eventually, realizing that he is without a chance against someone who can go through walls and what else.

Bård decides to go on with his duties instead, which means he unpacks the boxes in his new solo bedroom that he still isn't quite comfortable with because it feels like giving in to the constant fighting he and his girlfriend are in. Or maybe it's a good thing to have some distance, that it will give them room to breathe - he has no clue. And he won't waste time pondering about it, he's through with that for a while now, doesn't know how to change anything about his situation anyway.

After he is finished he grabs something to eat from the kitchen, not bothering about what ever it is, he stuffs into his mouth because the fridge doesn't hold much anyway, and then he sits down in the living room and starts practicing guitar for they have a gig the upcoming weekend. One more of those gigs with the band he sings and plays guitar in, another gig that brings them credits and even more gigs but only very little money. Never enough money to feed his family, not even enough to let them keep their apparent, no matter how much his girlfriend is working at her own job. The situation is a mess as it is but things are going to change soon, he knows!

Bård is happy to be distracted by the sound his fingers coax out of his instrument because it is a pleasant sound and he likes what he's doing.

Also during the entire time his thoughts are pulled back to the phantom, he obviously shares the house with and that he is still eager to learn about.

He tries to take glances from the corner of his eye because that's how he noticed the person before - as a peripheral vision just at the edge of his reach - but he can't see anything this time.

When he pauses his playing, he listens if he might hear anything like breathing, not sure if a ghost does something like breathing anyway.

And then his family is back and the girls are so loud and quirky and so excited about their new living situation that he might as well give up searching altogether, at least for the day.

 

The next morning is like the one before and so is the one after and the following.

Bård starts his day after his family has left the house and continues painting the girl's bedroom and the kitchen and what is next on his list.

At lunchtime he cleans up, has a short break and takes care of what is supposed to be his career - being a mildly talented musician and soon there is this new, sparkling opportunity that is given to him.

All while he is driven by a certain agitation throughout the days because he can feel that there is someone watching him, although he never senses anything he can put his finger on after that first day.

 

On day three he loses his patience with the situation and instead of sitting down and practice after lunch he starts searching every single room of the big house.

What for he isn't sure about.

Thinking of how absurd it is to be on ghost watch in the first place he goes for the classical movie-like knocking on walls for hidden rooms or searching for mysterious books that reveal someone's tragic destiny, which, he knows, is an absolutely stupid thing to do but he has no plan that seems anyhow more clever.

So he isn't surprised, only frustrated, when after two and a half hours he has found nothing at all.

He sits down on the couch with an ice-cold chocolate milk because that helps with summer temperatures the same as with frustration and closes his eyes for a bit.

He is tired and bored and in no way motivated to start working on his duties. He folds his hands behind his head and waits for the next little thing to happen as a sign from the universe of what to do next when he suddenly can feel it again - there's someone in the room with him!

Carefully, not moving, Bård considers what to do best to not shoo his personal spook away once again. He opens his eyes, ruffles his hair like casually, grabs his guitar from where it is leaning against the armchair and starts strumming random chords.

After a while the chords turn into certain Simon & Garfunkel tunes he remembers from playing at weddings in the beginning of their band history.

His playing is slow and peaceful and he keeps his gaze locked where his fingers are pressing the strings on the neck of the guitar, waiting patiently to see if this calm situation may attract the ghost's curiosity as it did before.

And yes - after a while he can see a movement from the corner of his eye. Not exactly like a real person sat down in the armchair next to him but clearly, there's something like a shadow, a shape that is not only there but even moving from time to time.

Bård's pulse is speeding up because although the situation is still not threatening in any way the whole thing is so strange and unreal that he feels like involuntarily placed into a Ghostbusters movie.

He starts to hum the melody of Dust In The Wind by Kansas because that's what the situation brings to mind and wonders what to do, how to get into contact with his secret audience. He waits until he reaches the next verse, chewing on mostly forgotten lyrics a bit with half-closes eyes only to stop the song abruptly mid-verse with a sharp thrum and turns his face to where he assumes his company to be.

What he sees is a pair of big brown eyes, widened in shock, that is the most prominent thing of the half see-through person, being huddled in the shabby armchair.

It is actually a boy, Bård can identify, someone young with a pale face, framed by dark curls, not an alien or a demon or what else could look dangerously, before said boy is up and out through the next wall.

Bård takes his time to put down the guitar before he stands up and follows the phantom to where it has crossed the wall, instead of walking to the door.

Just to make sure that there's no cheap trick to it, he touches the wall, checking if it is actually solid, which it is, before he puts his hands on his hips and clears his throat.

"I bet you're standing just outside this wall in the hallway, ain't you?" he says loudly.

He gets no response but his instinct tells him to keep going.

"Do you like it, when I play guitar? I know you always come to listening when I practice!"

There is still no reaction.

Bård briefly wonders what to say next. Well, in case this is pointless or he is maybe just talking to a bunch of stones, he can as well pretend to have an actual conversation, he thinks.

"Are you into this grunge style of music we're playing? Or are you more a fan of singer-songwriter stuff like Simon &Garfunkel?"

Bård holds his breath and listens attentively if he can hear anything from the other side of the wall.

"I prefer rock, to be honest!" a surprisingly deep voice suddenly sounds right behind his back and he almost falls over, he's so startled.

Bård turns around with a scared gasp and there is this boy.

He stands in the middle of the room, all black curls and curious big brown eyes but he's not quite there, somehow. He can see the cupboard on the wall through his body as if he is made of mist and even his foot sticks halfway in a box with DVDs Bård still hasn't bother to find a place for.

He is young, he figures, barely an adult and he wears like normal clothes - a white t-shirt and worn-out jeans. He could be anybody on the street if it weren't for his unusual features.

Bård snaps back from staring at him like an idiot and blinks a few times.

"Hi", he says a bit breathless.

A shy smile spreads on the boy's face while he stares back.

"Hi..." he answers with an insecure giggle. "So you can see me, yeah?"

Bård shrugs and wonders what kind of a question that is because, well...

"Obviously", he says a little irritated.

"Oh, yeah....sorry. I was not sure because, you know, I didn't mean to be visible to begin with. Not sure why that happens."

"So... you're a ghost or what?"

"I ... I don't know. I guess I am, kind of."

"How can you not know?" Bård's tone is a little annoyed and skeptical which he regrets immediately because the boy's face kind of shuts down and he takes a step back.

"...no offense!" he adds.

"Okay, no one told me, yeah? I was always alone and I just - am. Somehow.

"I wasn't coming with an instruction booklet, yeah?" the boy says defensively when Bård raises his eyebrows.

"You have always been here on your own? Like in this very house?"

A nod.

"Since when?"

"Don't know. A while. Years. Not sure when it started."

"How old are you?"

The boy sighs.

"Let me guess, you don't know."

As an answer he tilts his head and smiles almost apologizing.

"So you don't have any memory of a former life? Like you died and then you came here or something?"

"No, haven't. Who said I'm a ghost anyway? I could be anything else really!"

Bård chuckles silently and scratches the back of his head while he eyes the phantom boy from head to toe.

"What?"

"Maybe it's for the better. You're not exactly scary, you know?" Bård answers and rubs his nose to stop himself from grinning.

"Hey...! I never planned to scare you in the first place!"

The boy actually pouts and Bård thinks it's the most endearing thing he ever saw on a grown up. He can't help but tease him a little.

"Oh, you didn't? So then what was it with those noises and opening windows and flying dirt? That was you, wasn't it?"

The boy shrugs and turns around to slide back to the sitting area. "I was bored." he explains while placing himself into the armchair again.

That's something Bård can relate to, he thinks when he follows him. And also...

"Me too!" he grins.

"What, bored?"

"Yeah, pretty often actually. And then it's..."

"Oh, a pun!" the boy interrupts him and rolls his eyes. "I already know your name, yeah?"  
"That was funny, alright?" Bård whines and throws himself onto the couch, widespread.

"Nope. It wasn't." the phantom replies drily. They look at each other and a grin split their faces, goes wider and wider until they both break out in giggles.

"It wasn't." Bård admits laughing and crosses his legs at the ankle. "What's your name then?" he asks.

"Guess!" the boy smiles.

"You don't know!" Bård sighs and the other only wiggles his eyebrows mischievously.

"You can't be serious! You don't even have a name?"

"Well... no one ever talks to me in the first place so how could they call me a name then?"

If Bård was just about to wonder how strange it seems that he kind of hangs out with a pseudo ghost who could just as well be one of his former school mates the way they just click, he forgets about that immediately at the thought of how lonely that boy's existence must be. His chest tightens a bit and he considers if there's anything comforting to say about that. With not much of a result.

"So you don't interact with the people living in this house?" he asks after a moment "Like, didn't they see you or hear you or anything?"

The sarcastic smirk disappears from the boy's face, replaced by a scared frown as if he suddenly realizes what he's doing. He becomes a tad more foggy and slides backwards through his seat, away from Bård.

"I don't ... no, never... you..." he stutters. " I shouldn't..."

Bård sits up and raises his hands in defense.

"Hey, peace out man!" he says calmly. "Do you think, I'd sell you to the press or what?"

"No..." The boy stops his attempt to disappear but still looks very uncomfortable.

"It's just, I don't know...I feel like I shouldn't. Like you shouldn't know about me. I don't understand what's gotten into me, really. Pretty surely it's not right what we are doing here...I..."

The boy stops and gestures helplessly. Bård thinks he looks lost although he doesn't quite understand what the reason for this panic is.

"Really?" he says and tilts his head. "That's a pity! I think its quite cool, I met you..."

"Y...you do?" The boy runs both of his hands through the short black mess on his head. "Yeah... I kind of do, too..." he murmurs insecurely, locking his gaze with Bård's.

"You won't reveal my existence to any other person, will you?"

Bård smiles. "No way!" he assures him but then adds: "You wouldn't scare my kids though, right?"

The boy's eyes go wide. "No! What you're thinking!"

"Cool."

"Cool."

There's a pause where they look at each other in mutual excitement about the new situation.

"Do...do you need to practice, though?" the boy asks when it starts getting weird.

"Yeah...yeah, I should!" Bård agrees and grabs his guitar.

He sits down on the armrest of the sofa to have a better position for playing and his newly won ghost friend hushes back to his seat to watch him play, this time all openly.

 

So for the next hour Bård goes through all of their songs in his daily routine and then goes on some more because he kind of enjoys the awe in the boy's eyes when he plays. It's flattering, really, he isn't such a good guitarist.

When they hear his family returning in their old car, Bård puts down his guitar with an apologetic smile and gets up to bring the instrument back to his own room.

He steps to the window, looking down on the porch where his daughters are getting out of the car, all giggles and chasing while his girlfriend empties the trunk.

The boy comes up next to him and joins him watching.

"You keep it secret, yeah?" he says silently and Bård noticed that now he is barely visible anymore.

"Of course I will, I promised!" he answers and his stomach does this little flip at the thought of having a secret like this.

It seriously is the most exciting thing that ever happened to him and the last twenty-four years of his life haven't been exactly boring, when he thinks about it. But now he knows a ghost and it's not at all like all the stories in the world ever told, it is weird and it is ... nice, actually.

When he looks up again the boy is gone and he heads down to help with the grocery.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I start I'm gonna do something very unpopular - I'm begging, or at least it feels like it.  
> So it seems I catch like 70 hits a chapter, make it 60 because of some people coming twice, that's a fair amount of readers, I feel. It makes me wonder though - are you so bored, the majority of you, that you keep reading stories you don't actually like or why is it that I only have 19 kudos which makes it seem as if only a third of you enjoys the story? Maybe it is like that but if not - please remember to press the button or even better leave a comment! I'm not asking for myself only but for those four or five of my fellow writers like LillieWeskott, Solveig69, Humbae or Tvist who currently working on or posting ongoing stories. Everyone writing deserves your appreciation but it's extra hard if you need to keep yourself going and find the motivation to update regularly - which is to your advantage just as well.  
> Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to lie to please me. If there're 20 people enjoying what I do I'll be happy to write for them because I simply love to write and would use any excuse to do just that. But if you simply forgot to leave kudos, please try to make it your new habit! :)
> 
> So that was that and now we can start with the phantom boy's POV...

[ ](http://s1297.photobucket.com/user/brittasydow/media/PhotoEditor_2016_06_19_21_54_47_zpszfjkrfhe.jpg.html)

The next morning the boy is an insecure mess. He spent the night at his favorite place during summer, down by the water and now he's lurking in the stairway, invisible, while the man - Bård, he corrects himself - is cleaning the cupboards in the kitchen from the remainders of white paint.

It's not like he can't hardly await to talk to him again but deep down he still waits for heaven or hell or simply the next wall or where ever it might be he originally belongs to, to open up and punish him for doing so.

Nothing happens though, he still feels the same - which is: excited and happy in a strangely disproportionate way. Is Bård feeling equal? He cannot know, he hardly doubts though. Ordinary persons have other people to talk to, they have friends and a purpose in live they're aiming for. They don't wait for random phantoms to befriend them! The last thing the boy wants, is to become a burden, so he waits for any hint of what might be appropriate to do.

He's nothing but relieved when the decision is taken from him. Bård steps out in the hallway, puts his hands on his hips and gazes up and down the narrow stairway. "Hey, ghost...!" he calls."You're here?"

The boy slowly turns back into visibility, doesn't want to appear as if he was hiding behind Bård's back or something. "Hey..." he murmurs shyly.

"Oh, there you are! I wasn't quite sure if maybe I was just high yesterday..."

The boy furrows his brows. "You mean high as in taking drugs? You do something like that?"

Bård giggles. "No, dummy! It's just a saying. It's unreal, you know?" He runs a hand through his long, dark blond mane and watches his sneakers with seeming interest. "Where were you hiding though? I was wondering how to get to you." He pauses. "Actually - I didn't even know what to say when calling out for you. I felt like an idiot. 'Hey you' was an option but - seriously...!"  
He sighs and looks at him a little accusingly.

The boy shrugs. He knows it is not his fault that he doesn't have a name but he feels guilty anyway. He should make up for that.

"So, maybe... you can just name me, like how you think was best? I don't mind. I just...never needed a name before."

"Okay... I'm gonna call you ...I call you..." Bård sighs. "God, I really suck with stuff like that! I'm gonna call you... Jan! Yeah, that's okay, you look like a Jan."

"Alright, then that's my name from now on." the boy agrees.

How strange is that - suddenly he has a name. It's odd, he always thought it would make him feel more special, more like a person.

Bård nods thoughtfully and lets his gaze rest on him. Then he suddenly takes a step back and narrows his eyes.

"Weren't you wearing something else yesterday? Wait ...is that mine?" he raises his voice and gestures towards the blue t-shirt the boy is wearing.

He cackles, pleasantly amused by Bård's obvious bewilderment.

"Looks like that, huh?"

"Is it? How do you..? Can you..? I mean - how?"

The boy grins widely at him and starts to disappear.

"Like that!" he sounds when he pops up again barely two seconds later in a different outfit. He proudly enjoys this little trick that causes his new friend to gap like a child.

"That's mine too! Did you actually sneaked into my closet and back in such a short time?"

"Ahhh..." the boy says teasingly and smooths a palm over the front of that new, light-blue vintage shirt he's wearing.

"No!" He grins. "Don't ask me how but I can make it up in my head! I decide how I want to look and then I change just like that. I've been through your stuff though the other day, so now I just picked outfits I liked. I hope you don't mind!" he adds with a mischievous smile.

"Err, no...not at all! Cool trick actually." Bård sports a crooked smirk and buries his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Keep this one on, suits you!" he says with a wink and the boy is happy he's still half-visible so it hides his blush.

Awkward silence spreads in the stairway, they're both not quite sure where to look at. Eventually Bård starts walking up the steps. Does he want him to stay behind? The boy remains downstairs, staring after him with wide eyes before Bård gazes back over his shoulder and wiggles his elbow in an imitation of a wave since his hand is still glued to his pocket.

"Now, come on!"

"So, what is your plan for today?" the boy asks a little breathless, rushing after him. "Are you painting again?"

"Nope!" Bård pops the p audibly while opening the door to his own room. "Today I have to work on my script, come up with a few more ideas. It's not that long anymore..." he mumbles additionally.

He sits down at the old, scratched up desk that is squeezed into the corner of the small room and opens his laptop.

"Actually... I fear it's not going to be very interesting for you to join me. Mainly brain work, you know?"

"Oh, okay. I can leave if you think it's better! I don't want to distract you or ..?" The boy tries to read Bård's face but he obviously is not so sure how to handle the situation either, the way he's chewing his bottom lip.

"What - if I may ask, that is - what kind of a script are you writing?" he asks finally.

Bård smiles delighted and starts to explain eagerly.

That he plays in this band and that during spring they were at that radio show, one of those morning shows and how the DJ, hosting the show went to their gigs and became somewhat fond of them. And how afterwards he invited them - Bård and the drummer - several times and made them co-host the show.

Bård shifts in his seat and stretches out in all four directions with a grin. What he is about to tell now, he enjoys a lot, the boy can tell.

"The thing is - obviously their listeners liked it somehow, they liked.. _me_!" He clears his throat. "So... that's why they offered me to have my own show! one hour, ten runs, maybe twenty if it works out, every Tuesday and Thursday."

He smiles quietly to himself and looks quite satisfied as he scratches some paint off his thumb nail. Then he looks up to the boy again, as if suddenly realizing something.

"Do you know what that means?" he asks apologetically.

"Of course! It means you're going to have a radio show! What else could it mean?"

The boy beams and feels immensely proud of his ... No, he's in no way _his_ he remembers.

Well, Bård is the only person he has any kind of relation to so, technically, he is _his whatever_ and - he can't help himself anyway.

"That's...that's so cool!" he stammers. "What's your concept, though? You're writing on your script? I can help you, if you want me to! You could read to me the parts you've done already and I can tell you what comes to my mind when I hear that and..."

He stops ashamed when he sees Bård's jaw drop at his outburst. Why does he have to embarrass himself so much? Who would ask for a ghost's opinion on anything? What does _he_ knows about the world?

"I'm sorry!" he mumbles.

"Don't be!" Bård sits up straight and rubs his own thighs. "I just was ... I am a little surprised that someone is getting so excited about it. Almost everyone around me thinks it's bullshit, just one of my stupid, random projects and will lead to nothing ...as always! Even Bjarte thinks it's stupid, although he is a fan of the DJ who invited me. Or maybe that's why..."

The boy folds his legs and hovers mid-air as if he's sitting on an invisible table which earns him an amused gaze from his opposite.

He doesn't think it's stupid, he lets Bård know and, okay - who was Bjarte again? When Bård says, he is his brother, the boy immediately remembers the teenager who came with him on the first day. He learns that Bård thinks he is a brat and that he wished he would be more supportive at times.

And then Bård reveals that he once had another brother, one he never met. A baby boy who died at age two from an undiscovered heart disease before Bård was born and that he sometimes wished he was still alive because maybe they would do better than Bjarte and him.

"Oh, it's too bad you two don't get along..." the boy tries to be supportive.

"Whatever." Bård says annoyed but the boy knows it's not him who causes it.

"I'm sorry about your other brother, though."

"Hmm..." Bård shrugs and then tilts his head and gazes up to him. "He looked a lot like you, actually. Those black curls and big brown eyes, your chubby cheeks... We had his pictures hanging all over the upper hallway when I was a kid. You really could be him as a grown up!"

He smiles at the comparison.

"His name was Vegard, you know?" he says and his face lights up. "Would you mind if I call you Vegard? ...yeah, that's much better. Almost as if I had a new brother! ... oh, sorry, that was weird!"

Bård grins a little embarrassed but the boy can tell he's pretty serious with his suggestion.

His stomach tingles at the realization that obviously they both are somewhat excited to know each other. He can hardly believe it. Why would someone like Bård want him to be his made-up brother? Well, he certainly won't complain!

"Vegard sounds good."

He smiles like an idiot and roles the name on his tongue a few times. Yes, he can make himself a home in this name.

The sun has come out during the morning so they skip the ugly little room for the bench in the backyard.

They sit for literally hours and the boy sucks in every word Bård reads out of his script, every idea he reveals, tells him what he thinks would work and what wouldn't, which isn't that much, and laughs a little too hard for his own liking at a droll anchor man parody he's performing. Bård is flattered though and decides to keep the skit, so it wasn't too bad after all.

He is fascinated by the way Bård's brain works, how he picks absolute random topics and precisely points out the absurdity in it that makes everything a little hilarious. He clearly has a knack for comedy.

At one point Bård considers to have a segment where he is going to teach his listeners a random language, one that is as foreign as possible so it would be fun but absolutely useless to learn it.

"I was thinking Japanese - but that's almost fashionable these days or an Eskimo dialect or this bush men language with those clicking sounds. ...Must be bloody hard to learn!" he adds under his breath.

Suddenly an idea pops up on the boy's mind and he almost gets a little excited to be able to actually contribute to the brainstorming.

"How about Morse?" he asks. "The Morse alphabet, you know? You could teach like one letter a time..."

Bård stares at him through narrowed eyes and he can see how he's processing the idea.

"Vegard?"

"Yeah?" His stomach flutters at the sound of Bård's voice using his new name.

"This is fucking brilliant! This is exactly what I was looking for!"

The boy almost explodes with pride. To get Bård's appreciation is a fair enough entitlement of his existence, he feels.

But then Bård frowns and shifts in his seat to face him. A little suspiciously he eyes his transparent form from head to toe.

"You're strange, really! I mean - how do you know about stuff like that? You can't even tell what exactly you are or where you come from but you know about Morse or that TV show I mentioned earlier? How does that work?" He shakes his head in bewilderment.

The boy giggles and rubs his hands over his knees a little embarrassed.

"Self education?" he grins but then he clears his throat and turns serious again.

"Okay, let me explain that! So there is like basic knowledge pre-installed in my head, like what a tree is or how a door works and some such. I don't know where it comes from, it's just there."

"Ah, probably like stuff you learned in your childhood but you just can't remember who told you and when and it feels like the information has always been part of you? Like that?"

The boy nods eagerly. "Yeah, that's a good summary! But all the other things, like Morse or science or music or whatever, I know because I was bored for so many years. The man who lived here before, yeah? He had a lot of media, like TVs and computers and stuff and he literally never switched anything off properly when leaving or going to bed. That was very useful! And Morse...Morse I thought was a useful skill if one day I decided to become a poltergeist"

The childish absurdity of that idea makes them both burst out laughing.

"Oh, Truls, yeah..." Bård rolls his eyes after he caught his breath again. "My father's cousin, you know? He's a journalist, travels a lot and is always a little, well...absentminded if you know what I mean. He lived here for some years but then he moved back to the city because the house was just too big for him. Good for me, so he lets us use it now."

He shrugs. "Whatever. So you are able to use a computer? Seriously? How you're doing that?"

The boy wiggles his eyebrows. "I'll show you!" he says and gestures for Bård to turn the laptop so he can reach the keyboard.

With great emphasis and a lot of focusing he slowly types 'hello' into the document that is opened on the screen.

"There you are!" he exclaims proudly. "Takes some time but I can browse the internet or watch telly or whatever."

"Did Truls never get suspicious? Like what happened to his Google history or anything?"

"Oh, yeah sure, he did. But he thought someone hacked his Wi-Fi. He never thought of having a ghost in his home. To my relieve, though. I don't think I would have continued using his stuff if he started looking out for me like you did. It's against the rules to interact with someone over all."

"Against the rules?" Bård frowns.

"Yeah?" the boy says hesitantly, he already knows what will follow.

"What rules, for God's sake? How do you have rules? Is there a ghost bible in your nightstand or what?" Bård laughs and the boy sighs because here comes the part he rather avoided to deal with.

But since he is asked and it is his first chance to talk about these things anyway, to talk about himself, _him_ , who never mattered to the universe before, it seems .

So he tells Bård about the boundaries in his head that are, yes - exactly like memories without any source - about the safety they grant him but also the doubts they cause and Bård listens and he does not laugh and he does not think it's stupid.

"But were you never tempted to play against these rules, to check out what would happen?" he only asks at one point.

"Oh, sure I was!" the boy admits and he tells him about the very beginning, his very first memories, when there was this thought in his head that he would last only a hundred days, how he was relieved in a way because it was like a goal, like a finish line, only that this finish line never came and now after a decade or more he can for sure tell it was just bullshit.

Or how he was sure he couldn't leave the house until he tried and found out - no, his limit is the whole estate and all the trees and the animals and the open water of the Fjord down there are his to use and enjoy.

He tells him of the time he was sure his only purpose was to wait without knowing for what and that something awful would happen if he did more than that, until the temptation to learn became too big to resist and the first thing he learned was that absolutely nothing happened if he disobliged this silent rule.

"The only thing I never questioned for some reason is that no one can learn about me..." the boy ends his rambling and still feels a little ashamed to have occupied so much of someone's time.

Bård props his chin on his arm, laying over the backrest of the bench and looks at him with that calm, questioning gaze and a little smile is playing his lips.

"Why did you break it now?" he asks silently.

The boy stares back at him, at those curious, bright blue eyes and although he feels like his ears are burning away from embarrassment he can't bring himself to look away.

"I have no idea." he murmurs and he truly hasn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bård

[ ](http://s1297.photobucket.com/user/brittasydow/media/Fantasia%20Painting8_zps1vmoz5kx.jpg.html)

It's the weekend and Bård is busy. He helps his girlfriend to clean the house, swallowing her complains wordlessly because he knows he should have done the dishes more often during the week or at least pick up a broom once in a while, if not using it. He has a bad conscience constantly - or as constant as he allows himself to think about it but that's how he is, he can't help it.

He plays with his girls and they have a lot of fun, running around in the garden. He loves to hear their giggles, loves to see their happy little faces and the way they snuggle into his side when he picks them up, their tiny arms tightly wrapped around his neck. That's what happiness means to him.

Still he can't help but being a little frustrated because he gets no chance to talk to Vegard at all. They don't even see each other, Bård never seems to be on his own long enough to make it safe for the phantom boy to appear.

In the late afternoon Bård prepares to drive to the festival his band will play a few songs at. It's small and it's messy, that festival, they won't even have a proper sound check but, hey - it's a gig and it's always fun to spend some time with the boys!

It's when Bård is standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror, his hair still damp from the shower, wrapping a plaited shirt around his waist, when suddenly happens what he was secretly hoping for the whole day and Vegard pops up beside him.

He doesn't come through the wall or slowly becomes visible, no, he literally pops up so suddenly, it almost is causing an actual popping sound and Bård shrikes a little when he does but it smoothly turns into a kind of girly giggle after he recognizes him. He was a little ashamed of his reaction if he wasn't too busy being pleased.

"Hey, finally! I missed your stupid face!" Bård grins happily and causes Vegard's face to crumble into a sad frown.

"You think my face...? Oh, you're teasing me! Excuse me being stupid about social practices but - at least you can tell by my face!"

Vegard is a little embarrassed for being naive but he grins back at him right away and Bård is almost a bit proud of the sarcasm he covers his answer with. He learns quickly.

"So, Vegard...?" Bård starts and he is quite satisfied how smooth the name fits its new owner. "Where have you been to the whole day? Did you stay around and watch us? Because this idea feels a bit creepy to be honest."

Vegard scrunches his nose accusingly."Only a bit! Your daughters are too cute to not watch them for a while. I was thinking too it might be inappropriate, ghosting aroung you. You should not have to wonder if I overhear your conversations, right? So most of the day I spent down by the boathouse, watching the ships on the Fjord. That's something I did quite often while I was alone. It's nice."

"We have a boathouse?" Bård wonders. "I didn't even know."

"Oh, it's cool. It kind of hovers over the water. There are no boats though, just the house. I can show you if you want me to!"

"That would be great!" Bård smiles and he genuinely wished he could just drop everything and go.  
"Just not now. My band has a gig tonight. I need to get ready."

"Aww, that's awesome! Where will you play? At a club?"

"No, out-door festival. An hour from here."

"Oh, well..." Vegard sighs, disappointed as he pulls his knees to his chest and pretends to sit on the toilet. "I wished I could watch you play! I wanna know what you sound like."

"Not gonna happen, I guess." Bård shrugs and starts brushing his hair. He always is a bit restrained when it comes to friends and family visiting their concerts. He's not so sure about the quality of his voice nor his skills as a guitarist. For some reason he's sure though Vegard wouldn't mind if he had the worst performance of his career. He would watch him with that childlike admiration in his big brown eyes anyway and Bård is somehow fond of that look.

"I wished you could come." he adds silently while his gaze follows the way of the brush in the mirror.

"Well, maybe one day someone will film you and I can watch that and see you play."

"Uhm! Of course!" Bård interrupts his styling and uses the brush to point at the boy on the toilet. "We have a lot of videos! I'm gonna show you on Monday, okay? When we're alone. Still not the same but at least it's something..."

"Okay, great." Vegard mumbles and then he falls silent.

Bård is busy working some styling foam into his hair so he needs a moment before he notices.

"What is it?" he asks with raised eyebrows, watching Vegard in the mirror while rinsing his hands.

"Don't know." he shrugs and puts down his feet. "I'm sorry that I'm not a person..."

"What?" Bård's tone is high pitched from surprise as he turns around and squads in front of him.

"Why would you? You never asked to be a ghost, right? Also - what's to apologize?"

"Because I suck as a friend when I am like that." Vegard sighs and his transparent body slumps in his seat. "I'm so limited, can't go anywhere, can never be social with anyone..."

"Hey, that's stupid, okay? If you were sick and couldn't leave the house or be torn to a wheelchair or something you were limited too, still that wouldn't make you less of a friend, right?"

Bård is tempted to lay his hands over the other ones thighs but then he realizes that his hands probably hit barely more than air and he pulls them back.

"Being a friend is about other things. Like listening or caring. Don't worry, you are a nice ...person... something....personality!"

A grin sneaks back on Vegard's face at the awkward stammering Bård lets out. Just as he opens his mouth to answer there's a scratching sound on the wood of the door behind Bård.

"Who are you talking to, daddy?" a high voice is asking.

They both stare at each other startled with wide eyes before Bård's brain starts running high-speed to find an excuse.

"No one, I'm on the phone babygirl!" he calls without taking his gaze off Vegard's face and he's happy that his five-year-old daughter is not able yet to tell the difference.

"Can I come in?" she asks in a whining tone and Bård frowns apologetically.

Vegard smiles knowingly and gives him a small wave before he slowly turns invisible.

Bård stands up and opens the door for his daughter.

 

When Bård returns it's night, late and dark, regardless the northern summer.

The gig has been great and he sat with his band mates and a few others afterward, having a beer or two. He loves his nights out, hanging with those careless guys, where he can pretend for a while he didn't know that he will never make it as a musician, that he fails feeding a family and that anyone reproving his attitude is probably right.

Like - that he shouldn't drive a car after all those beers he had, he knows and he pretty sure can be lucky he made it home without killing himself or, worse, an other person but he can't afford a taxi and walking isn't an option either when you live at the end of the world.

He turns the engine off and gets out of the car a little awkwardly, frowning frustrated when he notices that there's no light left but the moon shining down on him.

It's not that he expected her to stay up and show some interest in how everything went for him but at least she could have kept the light burning at the front door!

He stuffs his fists in the pockets of his hoodie , turns his face into the moonlight and closes his eyes, testing if the cool air will blow away the slight dizziness in his brain.

A minute has passed like that when a familiar deep voice sounds silently behind his back.

"Hey! How did it go?"

He's not startled this time because he has been waiting for this. A smile creeps on his face and he doesn't open his eyes when he answers: "Great! It really...really was a good night!"

"I'm happy for you!" Vegard says and Bård can tell by his voice that he switches to his front now.  
He opens his eyes and grins at the boy and his sincere, curious face.

" _I'm_ happy you asked, actually! We got applause, we got food, we even got some money ...great night, as I said!"

He raises his hand for a high five and chuckles amused when Vegard stares at it, irritated.

"What...?"

"High five! Come on!" He knows it's probably pointless but he's drunk enough to enjoy stupid little experiments like this.

"But... I don't think that will work..." Vegard frowns insecurely.

"Give it a try! Come on, give me the best solid clap you have! I really want a high five right now..."

"Okay...?"

Vegard shrugs with a smirk and an expression of deep focus appears on his face as he tries to make himself as real as possible. They move their hands together but it's barely more than a whiz Bård feels when they cross. He falls forward a little from the swing and giggles tipsily.

"That was shit. Again!"

"It's not that easy! We should go slower, maybe!" Vegard joins laughing.

He positions himself better and they try again and at the third or fourth go they actually manage to let their palms meet in a way they both feel a kind of resistance that lets them stop at the right moment and imitate a real clap.

"Ha! Now we figured out!" Vegard hums happily.

Bård nods satisfied and puts his hands back in the hoodie. He can see that Vegard is eager to hear about the festival and he really would love to give away every detail but right now his head is a bit too cloudy to find the right words. Thoughtfully he chews his bottom lip.

"Oh..oh, wait! I've got something for you! " he suddenly calls out when his fingers close around the phone in his pocket.

"I asked a friend to film us on my phone as we play! I can show you."

Awkwardly he pulls the black rectangle out and holds it up in the air like to prove his words.

"Oh, you remembered?" The phantom boy's voice is excited although he humbly lowers his gaze and takes a step back. "I can't wait to watch it on Monday. Thank you for doing this for me."

"You know what?" Bård sniffs and looks up to the dark windows of the house. "I really don't feel like going to bed just now. I'm still running on adrenalin. Let's watch right now!"

He looks around, searching. "We should sit somewhere..."

"Wanna see the boathouse?" Vegard asks sheepishly. "I've been there until you arrived."

"Oh, yeah! Show me! I'm really curious to see that thing."

The moon is more than half full and bright enough to even shine through the trees so Bård has no trouble following the transparent boy who leads him down a narrow path at the opposite end of the meadow and it's not long until the untamed thicket of the huge property opens again to the view of a wooden cabin that is build right on top of the cliff that towers like five meters over the water. Half of the building extends over the edge , hovers over thin air, made to let boats down on the water through a trap.

Bård is thrilled by the discovery of this extraordinary house and understands immediately why Vegard loves to come here.

"This is great!" he breathes.

"Wait until you're up here to enjoy the view!" the boy chuckles down on him from the roof where he just went with his levitation skill without thinking.

"You're such a wag!" Bård grins sarcastically. "How shall I go there?"

They figure out though, find a plants grid on the left side of the cabin he can climb. He needs two tries before he manages the trick, which probably hasn't been necessary if he was sober, but then he is on top, next to Vegard and what he sees takes his breath away.

The water is spreading in front of them, calm and smooth, the lights of the city reflecting on the surface at the opposite coast line. They are colored and sparkle a little, like Christmas decorations - it's stunningly beautiful and mind soothing. The boathouse reaching out into the water makes it seem as if they're standing on something like a flying carpet and Bård sits down with crossed legs and enjoys the tingle in his stomach when he looks at the scene. He is not entirely sure what the reason for his high is - the location, the beer in his system or the situation being perfect altogether but he just breathes in the salty air and leans back on his arms to enjoy the feeling as long as it lasts.

He can see Vegard by his side smiling at him softly, not dragging him to talk or show that recording like he promised him to do.

He does eventually and Vegard is not only enthusiastic about their performance as he expected him to be, he knows stuff about well-known grunge bands and he surprises him even more with nerdy facts about the instruments and the sound system they are using. He's so fascinating, this strange, mysterious boy who he called friend so ridiculously fast that he doesn't even know how it happened and when.

They keep sitting on the roof, ripped out of time and space, Bård feels. Sometimes they chat, more often they don't and only when the horizon behind the hills of the city turns violet he remembers to go to sleep for some scanty hours.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, but...well, life and stuff.
> 
> This is just a short intermezzo, nothing really happens here. I hope you still like it. I'm gonna try my best to post the next chapter within three or four days to speed this up a little! :)

 

It's not the first time the boy wished he would sleep. He never does. Usually - although he gets exhausted and needs to rest - he spends the night at one of his favorite places, watching or listening in silence or simply waiting, without doing anything.

Also it would be nice to experience dreaming, he thinks sometimes.

Right now actually he wished sleep would bring him relief, that, if he fell asleep instead of just laying, his thoughts would stop spinning and he could find the peace he was used to for so long.

He sits on the roof of the boathouse, his legs hanging from the edge, his arms firmly wrapped around his stomach and curses the night and its darkness that keeps him from any kind of distraction.

He cannot stand the uneasy feeling in his guts, the tightness in his chest which are only getting worse and worse each day, making him feel like he's trapped.

The previous week has been wonderful and exciting if he is honest to himself, yet this is what causes his problems.

Bård and him has been spending practically all of Bård's available time together which was absolutely great. Bård has been very excited for the upcoming Tuesday and his radio show to start.

Like if it was nothing to wonder about, the boy has been involved in every step of preparation: Bård's plans, his research, pre-recording of jingles, writing and practicing skits. He has been Bård's first audience as he tested half-improvised songs and pranks and, more importantly, he trusted his justice!

Literally they are _so good_ together. It's like every idea one of them has, the other one has something to contribute to. Their humor is so matching, it's like every little joke one of them is cracking triggers something in the other ones mind to say something even funnier and more than once they ended up laughing for minutes because they couldn't stop going on and on with the nonsense they were tossing around.

The boy finds it mind blowing that it happens like that. ' _Where have you been all my life_?' Bård joked some days ago and he answered ' _Here, waiting for you!_ ' and they both laughed loudly because it seemed so cheesy that it completely passed through as a joke. But at the same time it was just oh so true and that exactly is what scares him to his bones.

The boy is no longer afraid of any eternity to come after him for not playing by the rules. No, he's way past that! What bothers him is that everything feels so _right_ , like being this wonderful man's friend was meant for him.

He's overwhelmed by how perfectly they match as friends, how much he cares about what Bård thinks of him, how much he is craving to be near him. After years and years of feeling nothing but loneliness and boredom these feelings are just too much for him, he just doesn't know how to handle them.

Also it doesn't seem right that he wants Bård all to himself. Who is he to occupy so much of his attention? He isn't even a real person!

He can see how Bård's thoughts move away from his family, back to him and what they were doing earlier when his girlfriend and daughters are around and he is supposed to care about them. He can tell because he's spooking around him now almost constantly because he can hardly endure not to - which alone is creepy enough. None of that is okay in any way and he knows he has to put a stop on it, still he feels completely helpless to the situation every time Bård is just in reach.

The boy sighs and lets himself sag forward until he falls over the edge and down to the water. Right before hitting the surface he stops the plunge and spreads his limbs lazily like a starfish.

The kick he gets from the fall is nice and distracting although it is way too short and reminds him disturbingly of the feeling he gets when Bård smiles at him.

Fuck.

Yes, his vocabulary has developed. But 'fuck' describes his dilemma like no other word, that's for sure!

The boy moans annoyed and gives up his pointless hovering but slides back to the roof again where he lays down on his stomach and starts counting the lights of the city on the other side of the bay. They are...quite a lot. He could as well count stars but it's cloudy. For the third time in five minutes he sighs.

He completely gives in to being annoyed and frustrated, doing his best to try and rip off a loose edge of the roofing felt, which is not easy for him. So he is taken by surprise a little when a thud sounds behind his back and he hears Bård's voice:

"Hey. Mind some company?"

He didn't hear him coming! How could that happen to _him_ , master of silent noises? He turns around with a frown to see his friend throw a pillow onto the roof and climb behind.

"Oww, hello!" the boy growls as he sits up.

How is this fair? Why can't he even have the night to himself anymore? is what his first impulse is to throw at him. How can he ever be able to sort his things out if he won't give him a break? But then the boy realizes how little exactly that has worked out the last two hours or so and he huffs and reveals to himself that he's happy to see him.

Bård is too busy getting on top of the boathouse to notice any of the boy's struggles. He throws his lean body next to him and stuffs the pillow under his head to lay most comfortably but still be able to watch the bay.

"What are you doing here?" the boy asks, trying his best to keep annoyance out of his voice.

"Can't sleep. The house is too warm and my head is buzzing will all the thoughts of going on air tomorrow."

He folds his hands over his stomach and crosses his legs at the ankles, eyes closed, a picture of relaxed. "I thought it would be nicer out here with the wind and all. Thought we could talk a little, don't you think?"

The boy looks down on him and can't help but smile. So Bård is excited, maybe nervous! He can so much relate to that and his job will be nothing but listen to what come out of the radio.

"Wanna go through it all once more?" he asks. "Or we could rethink the playlist, maybe it actually is too old-school."

"Nope! Just shut up and let me sleep!" Bård mumbles lazily without opening his eyes.

"But ...didn't you just say you wanna talk?" the boy asks irritated.

"Who cares about what I said when we were younger? Let's just chill, okay? It's nice here..."

"Okay...?"

The boy grins amused and lays down beside Bård, his head propped up on his hand so he can watch him, since sleeping will be a one-side thing.

How can this man be so cruel and never give him any space to breathe? How can this man be so cruel and so beautiful? In a way the boy is happy for this opportunity to look at him as long as he wants to without being embarrassed - at his high cheekbones that will blush so easily, his perfectly shaped, slim lips, that small angry line between his brows that gives him the constant appearance to be a bit skeptical towards the world and its way.

He knows it's pathetic and probably inappropriate to be so blatant but it's his favorite thing to watch and nothing comes close.

The only part he is missing now as they both breathe calmly into the warm summer's night are those intense blue eyes that never seem to lose their happy sparkle every time they rest on him.

The boy feels insufficient and small every time he compares them both. It's not only his lack of knowledge about common social interaction - or, like Bård would put it - he's not cool. No, he never said so but meanwhile the boy can tell easily what Bård would consider as cool - and it's not him!

Beside that he started something he never did before and that is looking up his own appearance in a mirror.

It's not easy, he has to make himself almost completely visible and then focus on what he sees in the reflection. Of course he knows what he looks like, he came across his own reflection before but he never cared as he does now.

He doesn't like his chubby cheeks or those messy black curls that stubbornly stay in any direction. He tried to make them grow but unfortunately it doesn't work as with clothing. He cannot stand his way too round brown eyes that make him look like a surprised toddler who has never seen something as astonishing as electric light.

Seriously, he should stop comparing. Nothing good will ever come out of that!

"You're staring at me, don't you?" Bård asks suddenly and without a warning, keeping his eyes closed.

"How...? No! No, I don't!" the boy hurries to say.

"Don't lie! I know you often do!"

"No... I mean, why would I?" the boy stutters and lays his head down on his arm so that they both are the same level. How could he be so stupidly obvious?

"That's what I keep asking myself. What's so fascinating about me one would stare at me so often!"

"Everything!"

The word is out of his mouth before he can even think what he's saying and the boy wishes immediately he could just stuff it back in.

Bård slowly turns his head and opens his eyes. "Seriously?" he asks in a sarcastic tone but then a grin lights up his face when he sees how much his own outburst upsets the boy.

"Don't be embarrassed!" He scrunches his nose. "I find you quite fascinating, too!"And after a second he adds: "I'm just better at hiding blatant staring."

They both giggle simultaneously.

"Is that so?" the boy asks, picking up Bård's mocking tone from earlier. "Well, we both are quite a bunch of interesting guys, aren't we?"

"Obviously."

Bård shoves his hair out of his face and then raises his hand. "High five!"

It has become a thing between them, giving each other high five at any given opportunity and they sort of have become better at it. They meet every time meanwhile.

"Is it just me or is this going easier more and more?" the boy wonders loudly after they clapped.

"Possibly." Bård mutters, putting himself back into his sleeping position. "Might be all that practicing. We'll check out tomorrow, okay? After I slept."

The boy moans disappointed.

"Come on, it's like ...two in the morning." Bård continues after blinking at the illuminated numbers on his watch through one eye. "Unlike some supernatural creatures around I need to sleep!"

"Okay..." the boy breathes with an only half-faked disappointment. "You don't mind if I keep staring at you meanwhile, right?"

Bård pokes out his tongue at the corner of his mouth as an answer and with a little smile folds his hands over his stomach again.

The boy lays down on his side right next to him, his head rested on his arm and he knows that at least for tonight he won't be bothered by all these feelings of doubt and concern anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavens, this have to be the longest three days in the history of forever!  
> I apologize. I ...get distracted easily.  
> I'll never stop writing though, just in case you worry - I love this story and it all exists in my head already anyway.  
> So now rush and read the next chapter!

 

Bård puts his helmet down and opens the zipper of his worn leather jacket while he enters the house. He can hear the girls laughing upstairs and it puts a smile on his face as he toes off his shoes.

"Hey, there you are! Could you help preparing dinner, please? We gonna eat early today."

His girlfriend passes him, rushing from the living room to the kitchen. Slowly Bård follows her and leans against the door frame, hands buried in his pockets.

"Don't you wanna ask how my show was going?" he asks casually as he watches her putting plates into the dishwasher.

She straightens up and looks at him. "How was your show going?" she says with a non-committed smile.

"Didn't you listen? I thought you might turn on the radio..."

"I was working, you knew that, didn't you?"

She turns around and continues putting dishes into the baskets of the machine.

"Yeah, I know. I just thought ... I know you have the radio running in the market sometimes."

"Bård." She steps close and puts her damp hands on his forearms, looking him straight into his eyes. "I'm a shop assistant. I need to take care of our customers. And that sometimes we have music running through the speakers doesn't mean I can bother them with some random radio show just because my boyfriend is hosting it. It's not my private space. It's work." She pauses for emphasis. "Do you want to tell me how it went now?"

"Great." Bård shrugs.

"I'm happy for you!" she says and straight away leaves his side to further cleaning the kitchen.

"The editor and some of the other deejays praised me. They wanna keep me."

"Uh-hu!" comes her voice from out of the cupboard. "That's something, isn't it?"

And before he can tell her how much more than _something_ that is she adds: "Can you help me with the vegetables now, please?"

Bård swallows and pushes himself up from the frame. "Gonna change first, okay?" he mumbles before he turns his back on her abruptly and heads upstairs, ignoring her demand to hurry.

The girls fly into his arms and give him wet kisses and he takes a minute to admire their pillow castle for their stuffed animals before he escapes into his own room and firmly closes the door.

He can't help the wide grin on his face when he sees Vegard sitting with crossed legs in the middle of his bed.

"How was it? What did it feel like?" Vegard fires right away, jumping excitedly up on his knees. "Come on, tell!"

Bård stops his attempt of an explanation for a silent laugh because the boy is so adorable in his excitement.

"So, so cool!" he beams. "I felt so fucking professional, you have no idea!"

He tosses his jacket onto a chair and puts his hand on his hips, puffing out a deep breath. "Did you hear it all?"

"Of course!" Vegard slides off the bed and mirrors his posture. "Every second of it!

"I pulled the plug when they came back." he explains when he notices Bård's gaze towards the mini stereo on the desk. "I didn't want them to wonder about the running radio."

"Well done!" Bård smirks."So, what do you think? And don't flatter, I need some serious criticism!"

"Okay...!" Vegard pauses and let his gaze run through the room as he reconsiders his words. "So, it was really good for your very first show! You didn't stutter, you were funny and you reacted pretty smooth to the listeners calling in. You ruined the announcement of the third song when you confused band and title but it was funny the way you fixed it. I have some thoughts about what you could change for Thursday though..."

Bård chews his bottom lip and looks up to Vegard when he doesn't continue. The boy looks at him with a sparkle in his eyes and a barley suppressed grin on his face.

"Nah...! Screw this! You were fucking brilliant!" he bursts out and raises both of his hands for their usual high five.

Bård knows that his first try was far from being perfect and he will gratefully use every advice Vegard has to offer but he can't deny that he loves to be called ' _fucking brillian_ t'. With a proud cackle he slaps Vegard's ghosty hands and crowns his celebration with a little bounce.

"Yeah! Damn it! I'm the king of radio!" he hisses with clenched fists before he bursts out into a slightly too loud laughter.

Vegard nods satisfied, smiling widely. "Yes, you are!"

He crosses his arms over his chest and eyes Bård from head to toe. "I'm so proud of you!"

It hits Bård slightly unprepared so his facial expression escapes his control and he falls silent. He can't quite remember when he heard someone saying they were proud of him last time. Must have been primary school, it feels.

"You are?" he whispers surprised.

Vegard's face softens as he smiles at him, astonished. "Sure I am! Why wouldn't I? You are my friend and you did so well..."

Bård clears his throat and rubs the pathetic stubble that grow under his chin . "I... Thank you. I..." he mumbles.

"Bård!" he gets interrupted by a furious voice from the hall before the door flies open and he spins around hastily to meet the sight of his girlfriend standing in the door way.

Maria's delicate face wears a grim frown and her voice is sharp.

"Didn't you say you be right back to help me? What happened to that? Could you be reliable, like, once?"

"I told you I want to change first, didn't I?" he growls annoyed, half of his mind occupied with the worry if Vegard has been fast enough to escape to where ever. She does not look past him so obviously he has.

"Wow, then it's a bit unfortunate that you haven't even started!" she hisses, glaring at him before she stomps out the room.

Bård's anger and concern sit sour in his gut. "Fuck you..." he murmurs under his breath as he closes the door behind her and he hopes Vegard hasn't heard him being so rude. Slowly he breathes out through his nose to calm down before he faces the room again.

Vegard is right there were he stood when the door opened, wearing an uncomfortable frown.

"You heard her!" Bård gestures apologetically towards the door and starts to slip out of his shirt. He recalls what they were talking about before they got interrupted and the memory of Vegard's honest praise makes him smile. He shakes his head in disbelief.

"You know, sometimes I'm not sure if you're not just something my sick brain has made up."

He fumbles his belt and searches for words that won't make Vegard feel like he seriously doubts his existence. Vegard snorts.

"Come on, there's no evidence other than what you told me, which isn't much of a proof if you're just a fantasy. I mean, how is it possible that she didn't see you, huh? How could you be so fast?" he asks with a giggle to make it clear that he's only joking.

"I made myself invisible!" Vegard mutters as an answer.

Bård looks up and notices that the boy has retreated himself to the window sill. His flushed face and the way he awkwardly stares out the window makes him aware that he's practically naked in front of another man. Which...shouldn't be a thing. It really shouldn't!

He hurries to pull on his sweatpants.

"Yes, yes, yes! Or you just doesn't exist!" he quips while pulling out a fresh t-shirt from the wardrobe.

"I can punch you if you need a check on reality." Vegard offers with a challenging voice and returns to the middle of the room the second Bård is dressed.

"You wanna punch me?" Bård mocks him with a grin, adjusting his mane. "Let me see how you do that!"

"You'll see!" Vegard mumbles grimly and impersonates the posture of a boxer.

An expression of deep concentration on his face he focuses for several seconds before he lands a punch on Bård's left shoulder.

The impact is soft but perceptible. Bård almost falls to the floor from laughter.

"Oh my god! That was like a baby hitting me!" he cackles before he realizes how loud he is and quickly mutes himself with a glance at the door.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" he grins at Vegard, remarkably quieter.

"Do that. I'm gonna train meanwhile!" Vegard answers, hitting a few air punches.

"Good luck!"

With a wink Bård opens the door carefully and slips out.

 

It takes quite a while until he has finished his family life tasks, more than Bård would have loved to invest, but eventually the girls are in bed and Maria is distracted by a TV show.

When he hurries upstairs he gets stopped by Vegard's voice coming from the bottom of the stairway.

"Hey...! Come this way!" he whispers before his foggy form disappears down the hallway that leads to the unused wing of the house.

Bård follows without hesitation.

They end up in a room that is used to store stuff Bård is planning to use for renovation, like that pile of parquet floor packages that was supposed to cover the living room floor meanwhile, yet still isn't for some unknown reason and that now makes a perfect seat.

Vegard has taken place astride on it and invites Bård to do the same who knocks his knuckles against the wrapped planks and smirks approvingly.

"Great idea! Here I won't have to muffle my laughter when you're doing stupid things."

"Yeah, right. That was _exactly_ why I brought you here." Vegard replies, raising one eyebrow.

"I appreciate that. Thank you." Bård claps his hands. "Enough of the banter. Lets work!"

And when Vegard replies with an _okay_ he adds: "So what did you want me to change, like you said? Where are my weak spots?"

"Umm, actually..." Vegard pulls back and straightens his back "I think it's not _my_ job to point that out. Rather you should."

Oh no, why does he have so little confidence? Why would he never trust his own judgment? Doesn't he understand how good he is? Bård sighs.

"Man, come on! You should tell me. Your opinion is important to me "

"No, seriously. I thought about it." Vegard's face is straight and his eyes, pinned on Bård's face, reveal no self-doubt. "It's better to work with the things _you_ are not satisfied with, so you will become comfortable with this new job of yours before you start to care other people's opinion. So... what do you think? What could be better?"

Bård is actually a little flabbergasted.

"Oh...so you...Okay, you want me to...? Wow, that's actually quite a professional thought..."

Vegard's smirk is proud. "So go on, tell me!"

Bård clears his throat and adjusts his bum on the planks.

"Okay, so the worst part was that the people who called in didn't understand the game to the fullest."

"Agreed."

"The challenges they gave me were way too easy. None of them understood what I was after. I improvised in the end and it was quite okay but it was frustrating. I'm not sure though what to do about it. Maybe when they'll know me better, they'll get it. I mean I can't expect them to think the way we do. Everyone's humor is different."

"Yeah, a pity. I had quite a few nice ideas while I was listening to what they suggested. I might have bit my tongue once or twice."

"Uh, yeah. I was thinking about you when everyone came up with such lame suggestions!"

Bård watches the boy through narrowed eyes. " _You_ should call!"

"What?" Vegard coughs.

"On Thursday. You call me and give me a new challenge."

"You can't be serious!"

Vegard sounds skeptical but Bård can see how the idea inflames him.

"Sure! We'll explain it. That I needed a harder challenge and a friend will call me and has something prepared for me. That'll be fun!"

"Do...do you think that's possible?"  
Bård grins, completely hooked by the idea already. "Let's try!"

He pulls out his phone and they test if Vegard's voice is audible on recordings. It is. No difference from Bård's voice, just the way Bård hears him face to face.

So they check how difficult it is for Vegard to use a phone and he masters it without any problems. What should keep them?

They sit on their pile, grinning at each other in excitement and Bård feels so stupidly happy that he forgets to be embarrassed by them staring at each other for so long.

"That will be perfect!" he beams. Eventually he looks down on his phone that still rests between their knees on the planks. "Hey, I'm stunned how well you tabbed the screen! Do you think ... is it possible all this interacting makes you , like, more solid like you said last night?"

"Not sure, feels a little like it." Vegard shrugs.

Bård looks down on his hands and then on his own.

"Let's test it, okay? Like we can try how it feels now and then check how it is a few days later. Shall we?"

"Okay..." Vegard says hesitantly and and slowly lifts his hands from his thighs with no real aim."What...?"

"Make yourself as solid as you can, okay?"

Bård watches as the boy clenches his hands into fists until his knuckles turn white. Carefully he reaches out and lays his fingers on the back of Vegard's hand. He knows he told him to tighten but now he feels like he'd rather wants to smooth this violent clench out of his slender hands. Instead he tips his fingers on the skin to test the resistance.

"How does it feel?" Vegard asks silently. Bård can see and hear his tension.

"Like a hand. Almost. A little bit like a stuffed animal because I can hardly feel the bones though I see them."

With a quick movement he slaps his fingers on Vegard's tight fist.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"I wanted to see if I can do it!" Bård giggles. Too much tension isn't really his thing. "Now you."

He holds out his arm and watches as Vegard moves his hand close and slowly runs his fingers across his forearm.

"I can feel you pretty well." he states and his voice is a bit husky. "Your arm...and I can feel that you're warm. And...and all these little hairs on your skin."

Yeah, Bård can feel them too, how they stand up as if Vegard's touch is electric and make them crackle and if maybe the same electric voltage sends little jolts through his guts and makes his heart speed up a bit he will most definitely not tell.

He will not move, though, won't break the contact. No, not him. So they stay like that somewhat longer and it takes surprisingly long until it becomes awkward. Eventually Vegard coughs dryly and pulls his hand back.

"So we... we keep that in mind, how it felt and then we try again in a few days." he says with a foreign voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's the plan." Bård replies and then they focus on figuring out how they'll manage to make Vegard call in on Bård's show.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry! Promise to be better!

 

If he could sweat his hands clearly became sweaty now, the boy is sure of it.

He can't remember if he ever felt this nervous as he does now where he sits in front of the radio, waiting for Bård to call in. He bought him a pre-paid phone for that matter and the boy has practiced what felt like a hundred times to use the touchscreen. Just to make sure - and because he desperately needs something to do - he tries for a hundred and first time and - isn't that a moist fingerprint on the glass? Maybe he can actually sweat, he never made any attempt to figure it out properly or maybe it is an actual fact that he's becoming more and more physical due to all this interacting and sweating is part of the deal?

He typs a few numbers without any sense, focusing on the pattern they build on the screen. Only a few more minutes, right after Rihanna has finished singing her stupid little song she's howling through the room currently he will be heard on national radio. Thousands of people will hear him, thousands of people will know about him, like the ultimate proof that he exists, that he is definitely more than a phantom and for sure not part of a psychosis Bård is breeding.

 

He literally jumps when the phone goes off and the display serves him a bold 'Bård'.

The boy hurries to press the green button and brings his mouth near to the microphone.

"Hey." he croaks.

_"Hey! Are you ready? I go on air in ten seconds."_

Bård's voice is strained and a little giggly, he can tell he probably feels kind of reckless to use his second ever radio show to involve a supernatural creature but he can just as well tell that nothing would have made him skip that idea, once it has been formed.

"Ready for hours!" the boy replies with an easiness he not at all feels.

Bård hums and then he can hear him making a short reference to the song before he introduces the next segment called 'The Task'.

_"But since last time it turned out that none of you guys out there had an actual challenge for me and I'm someone who loves to be tested I asked a friend of mine to give me a task, for I know he is a really mean, evil person and won't fail to make things real hard for me. Just as I like it. Hey Vegard, are you ready?"_

"Eh, hey! Yeah, I think I found something nice for you."

_"Shoot away!"_

"Okay ... so we all know that your show is a replacement of Klaus Sonstad's show while he is on summer's break and you are quite new to the business and all so I thought you might call him to get some advice for being a good radio host and so on."

_"Okay...?"_

"Okay, now I know you don't have his telephone number..."

_"Right...?"_

"So your task is to call phone assistance and ask for his number. So far so good. Now here's your challenge: A - you can't say his name while you try to get the information and B - everything you say need to rhyme!"

_"Hehe...! That's a challenge from my heart! Great, Vegard! Thank you!"_

"Not so fast!"

_"What is it?"_

The boy takes a deep breath. So far everything has gone really smooth, he wasn't even excited too much but what he is going to say now they never talked about before. It was just something that came to him while he was waiting for the call, just a little blossom from the creative part of his brain. He can't tell if it will work out the way he imagines or if Bård will be mad at him afterwards - he hopes not - but he likes the idea too much to let it go.

"Okay, I thought of it for a while and I find this segment is a bit boring as it is, like, there's no consequence if you fail your task, right? So I thought we should rename it to 'Task and Punishment'.

 _"Aww, that's so thoughtful of you! You're a true friend!"_ Bård growls but he can tell that it is for the show and that on the inside Bård is rather pleased by the direction this is going.

"I know, thank you!" the boy cackles. "Well, since I can't be there to take care of your punishment personally I'd like to ask your producer, who's name is Geir, right? He should be in the studio with you..."

He hopes with all his heart that this might be true and he's not making a fool of himself right now and that Geir is the kind of man Bård has described him as, so he would enjoy to play along!

 _"Yes, I'm here!"_ he hears a man's voice to his relief. _"What do you want me to do? I'm up for anything, hehehe..!"_

"That's absolutely great, Geir. Thank you very much, I really appreciate! I thought we go very classical here because there aren't so many opportunities we can pull out of the hat just like that, means - every time Bård says something that doesn't rhyme you gonna spank him."

 _"Wow, no no no!"_ Bård throws his protest in.

"Do you have something at hand to spank properly? Unless Bård is not man enough to take that challenge..."

 _"Yeah, okay okay... ruin my body but you can't take my pride! Of course I'm doing it! I'm not going to fail anyway, so bring it on, man!"_ Bård sneers, directed at his producer. _"Have you found something?"_

_"Well, I found this bar here in a corner, think it was part of a shelf once. That should do it. Let's have a try out...!"_

_"Oww!"_ the boy can hear Bård howl and he can't keep himself from giggling because he knows but too well that this is something Bård would utterly enjoy doing to someone else.

 

He stays on the phone during the game so he and Geir can decide which of Bård's sentences actually rhyme and which are so forced they won't go through and deserve a spanking. It's quite fun really although Bård ends his - unsuccessful - call, which costs him three more spanks, with a immediate _"You'll get that back Vegard!"_ But it does not bother him too much because he knows Bård is good sports and most likely had a lot of fun , regardless of what he's saying.

Then they end the call and the boy suddenly feels overwhelmed when he realizes that he just had something like a real conversation with someone who was not Bård, someone outside this little world and it seemed as if there was no difference in if he was made of flesh and blood or... something else.

Maybe his existence could contain actually more for him than he assumed before.

 

"Vegard! Come on! Where the heck are you?"

The boy shrikes up at the waterside when he hears Bård yelling for him. He hasn't noticed his motorcycle to arrive. He hurries to go up, scurrying through the walls of the house to shorten the way.

"I'm here! Something happened?"

To his surprise Bård didn't come with his bike but an unfamiliar red car he probably borrowed somewhere.

"Ahh! There you are!" Bård beams at him as he turns around. His cheeks are flushed and his hair is disheveled from the harsh wind that is going.

"I have a surprise for you!"

His excitement is practically written on his forehead and his wide grin does what it always does - it makes the boy smile just as wide and with a surprised grunt he follows him around the car to the trunk.

With a wiggle of his eyebrows Bård opens the heck door to present him a vehicle full of...

"Egg-trays?"the boy raises his brows quizzically and puts his hands on his hips. "Nice...!"

Bård giggles and slaps his palms against the open door above his head.

"It's just part of the equipment! Too bad you can't help me! You really should..."

He grabs a pile of trays and starts walking towards the front door.

"Its not exactly my fault, is it?" the boy mumbles. "Hey, wait! What equipment? What are you talking about?" he then realizes and he follows him quickly.

"Hehe..." Bård puts the trays down on the doorstep and grins teasingly while he fumbles for the key.

When the door is open he obviously decides that he's finally ready to share his secret. He raises his hands in a broad gesture and explains:

"Okay, so it is like that - Geir, the producer, yeah? He was pretty much fond of you and how we roll together and obviously our audience was too, because they made quite a fuzz on twitter about us, that's why he asked me, Geir that is, if I might ask you to do that in every show, even more - to become my sidekick, sorta and since I think that's a brilliant idea I said you would!  
So that's your surprise - congrats you got yourself a job!"

The boy slightly shakes his head like to clear his brain, so flustered by the sheer amount of words Bård throws at him without even taking a breath, that he almost misses the point of it all.

"You what? No! What's gotten into you? I can't!"

"Of course you can." Bård says matter-of-factly and folds his arms.

"But - but I can't even leave this stupid house! Did you forget that?"

"Of course I haven't!" Bård rolls his eyes." That's why we make it a podcast."

"We - what?"

The boy feels kind of dizzy while trying to process his new received surprise.

"A podcast, means we pre-record the show. Here, in this very house."

Bård kicks his foot against the pile of egg-trays in the doorway as if that explained everything, which it doesn't but he boy can't be bothered with that right now.

"I know what a bloody podcast is, I just can't do it! I don't have a clue of what I'm doing!" he utters, almost angry.

Bård sighs and a small, fond smile appears on his lips.

"Hey..." he says and raises his hands to Vegard's face as if to cup his cheeks.

The boy is so taken aback by the intimate gesture that Bård's hands move downright through his head.

"Vegard! Please!" he mutters and keeps his hands up challengingly.

The boy huffs and focuses on staying present, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Look," Bård's hands feel warm and soft on his skin when he eventually lays them on his face. "I don't have any clue of what I'm doing either but fact of the matter is that we're going to be double as good when we work together instead it double clueless. You know I'm right! And beside that ... I really, really wanna do that with you!"

At this very moment the boy suddenly gets a hint of why people in Bård's life keep telling him he was unpredictable and immature. How could he do that without even asking him? Was he blatantly relying on his charm? Well, that was unfair but working!

"What you say?" Bård whispers urgently and the pleading in his gaze is so intense that the boy forgets how to breathe.

"You know, I'd do anything you ask me to!" he finally brings out and he isn't even ashamed of this bitter truth.

Bård's face slowly lights up with a warm smile and for a second the boy thinks he might lean in and ... but then he only brushes his thumbs over his cheekbones and whispers a sharp "Yes! Thank you!" before he releases him.

The boy takes a few steps back and awkwardly clears his throat.

"Thank god that was not at all pathetic and you're damn lucky I'm too embarrassed of myself to be mad at you..."

With a mischievous grin Bård shrugs and picks up the egg-trays again.

"I still don't get your plan though! What are we doing with...?"

The boy hurries to follow Bård into the house when he starts walking and beckons him in with a move of his head.

They end up in the dead wing of the house, precisely a tiny room, barely of ten square meters with its floor covered in all sorts of rubbish from the moving that Bård preferred to simply leave here instead carrying it outside to the bin. With his foot he clears some space on the floor to put the cardboard pile down.

"Okay, so listen." he says."We're gonna make this room our recording studio. I've got equipment from the station, microphones and stuff. And those..." He lifts the egg-trays for explanation. "...we put on he walls to have a proper sound and less of a resound."

"Really? I mean...how?" the boy asks a bit helplessly, mostly because his brain is still busy with processing the whole idea.

"Oh, just a bit of hot glue and there we go. Not a big deal." Bård shrugs while putting the trays down and suddenly the boy gets distracted by a completely different kind of thought.

"How's your bum though?" he asks, being confronted with the dominant sight of said bum and he can't keep his amusement entirely out off his voice.

"You...!" Bård growls, straightens up and turns around slowly which supposedly is meant to be threatening. "I cannot believe I forgot about that 'cause of all this recording stuff! You're gonna pay for it, I told you!"

He bends down, picks up one of those plastic stripes that once were wrapped around a roll of carpet and tries to whip with it at Vegard's thighs or his behind or what ever he will be able to hit but of course all his trying is in vain because the boy not only slides away effortlessly with a cackle but even simply disappears when he gets too close.

Eventually Bård gives up and leans against the wall, panting but laughing.

"Okay, so you won't play fair, I see! Don't feel too save though, 's all I'm saying!"

The boy grins widely and makes a gesture of wiping dust off his shoulder.

"You'll see, my friend! We'll taking turns at this 'Task and Punishment ' game!"

"You're serious, yeah?" the boy asks, still a lot of skepticism coloring his voice. "You really want me to become an actual part of a public radio show? With producers and technicians and thousands of people listening and what not? What if someone finds out there's something fishy with me?"

"How, Vegard? How are they ever going to find out that you're different? I told them you were high allergic to all kinds of stuff and therefore can't leave the house. Geir's fine with that, he swallowed it like nothing. Actually he was sso pleased by the idea that he didn't think twice to skip a live show for a podcast! I assume that's a huge deal..."

Bård stands up from the wall and whips his hair out of his face. "Look, I genuinely think the fact that you're kinda different shouldn't mean that you can't do thinks that are fun or important in any way. That would make it a rare form of racism in my humble opinion."

The boy can't help but burst out laughing. "You're such a weirdo!" he chuckles.

"Ohh, you didn't say that for nothing!" Bård spits and with a whip so fast he actually catches him off-guard he slaps the plastic strip in his hand against Vegard's upper thigh.

"Ouch!" Vegard hisses, rubbing his leg.

With a bouncing heart in his chest he watches Bård escaping to the hallway where he can hear him laughing triumphantly.

Probably he will get the rest of the egg-trays or he will find him, sitting in the kitchen, eating ice-cream. Who can tell with him.

Carefully he checks his thigh and smiles when he finds that the strip has left an actual mark on his skin. Not only it seems like a proof that he's indeed becoming more and more physical and thus more real. He likes the thought of deserving the same chances as any other person.

And on top of all he cherishes the knowledge that it was Bård who gave him that mark and that he is going to feel the effect of his impact possibly for the rest of the day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry for spoilering at other places! Nevertheless - enjoy!

Furiously Bård picks up an empty water bottle from the table and throws it against the door that has closed mere seconds ago. It bounces off with a thud and rolls back into the room, unbothered.

He groans frustrated. Why does she have to be like that? Even if they don't agree about a lot, even if she couldn't understand his motives - why does she have to act like he was stupid? Or a child? Or both!

Bård knows that he is currently behaving like exactly that as he is stomping his feet on the floor repeatedly and screaming into his t-shirt that he has pulled up over his face, but he is just so frustrated that he doesn't know what to do with himself.

An hour ago Maria found the little studio, he and Vegard have prepared, the walls carefully covered in egg-trays, an old carpet on the floor, the table in the middle equipped with his computer, professional microphones and headphones - and, yeah, he couldn't explain to her satisfyingly why he wasn't doing a live show at the radio station anymore but he didn't get enough time to even come up with a proper lie about it being a decision of the producers anyway. She immediately assumed he had arranged the change because he was too lazy to drive into town twice a week, that he preferred to stay on the couch in his trainers, day in, day out!

Like - what?

He is showering and shaving daily, he is meeting his band mates regularly, he is doing grocery shopping and why for God's sake should he invest so much work into preparing the room when his reason was to be lazy? That is all so ...!

She has been so occupied in her judging that she actually missed completely that the 'studio' is put up for two people. _That_ would have been hard to explain!

When the steam is all out he lets his shirt snap down and exhales harshly. He better go find a place for the second mic to hide during her being in the house. The packing box in the corner will do it, so he carefully starts rolling up the cable and stores the treacherous equipment.

He's so angry and tired of it.

If he never gets to talk to her again ever it would be too early!

Why is she wondering that he doesn't want to spend time with her anymore? Who wants to spend time with someone who dislikes your every move?

If anyone in his life would like come to terms and take a lesson of how to be supportive they'd come and watch Vegard! He always knows the right things to say, the right questions to asks and he seemingly never needed to fake interest. That's how you'd be a friend, let alone a partner! As far as Bård concerns he'd rather doing everything only with him from now on and everyone else could just fuck off! That was quite anti-social, seeing that then he actually wouldn't leave the house anymore but it feels like being enough.

And if he is honest with himself - and last night he has been - he is aware that he is developing a big, disgusting crush on that cute ghost boy.

Seriously, if anyone knew, they probably sent him to asylum finally, torturing his brain with electroshock. That would be it.

But actually he couldn't care any less. Since he knows Vegard he's feeling better and happier than he did in years, like since he kind of took the wrong turns after high school, feeling like living an other person's life.

Bård wishes with all his heart Vegard was here with him right now so that he had someone to whine at but most likely he disappeared to the boathouse when he heard them fighting. That is for sure nothing anybody wants to witness!

He has not even finished the thought when his phantom friend appears in front of the window and hesitantly smiles at him before he slides inside when he realizes that Bård is alone.

Here for you to see, world - that's what a friend is! Someone who instinctively knows when he is needed!

"Hey, you're okay...?"

"You heard us?"

"I tried not to. You wanna talk about it?"

Bård sighs.

"Not right now. I probably start yelling and she already thinks I'm nuts. Yelling at the walls in an empty room doesn't help."

He squeezes his eyes shut.

"I'd rather like to go outta here, like far, far away but I can't take you with me and that would suck even more. Don't know..." Bård shrugs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "We could go to the boathouse or something..."

He feels Vegard's hand on his shoulder and it's solid and comforting. "I know a place" he says. "It's something I wanted to show you for a while now."

Bård opens his eyes and locks gazes with Vegard for one moment, a moment that for his heart feels much longer than it possibly can actually last.

"You're far from having seen everything on this property." Vegard eventually says with a smirk and Bård regrets the loss of contact when he takes his hand away.

"Cool." he brings out.

"Actually, can we try to avoid Maria? I absolutely don't feel like running into her right now!"

"She won't see us. I'll go spying where she's at and then I come and get you." Vegard wiggles his eyebrows and tilts his head in an inviting gesture before he slides down the corridor.

"Wait here." he whispers when they come to the stairway and without any further hesitation he slides through the wall, becoming invisible in the process.

Bård waits for about a minute before he reappears.

But something's off, Bård can tell. His face has this odd tension written all over it and his eyes are a tad too wide.

"What's up?" Bård asks, suspicious.

"Nothing. She's in the living room, we can leave right out the front door." Vegard hurries to say while he tries to move around Bård, who's blocking the way, without crossing him.

"Non no no no! What have you seen? What is she doing?"

"Everything's fine. Let's just go, okay?"

The angry line deepening on his forehead Bård glares at him and stumps down the hall to the door of the living room. There he slows down to check out the situation.

"Bård, don't. Please." he hears Vegard's whisper behind his back.

He doesn't react. Maria sits on the sill of the open window, her back turned to him.

She's on the phone.

He stands still, hidden slightly by the door blade and listens to her high voice talking.

"...no, thank you. That's actually the last think I wanted! No, I swear to God, mum, if it weren't for the kids I'd be long gone! No...no, they are with his parents today. I'll pick them up at six. I know, I should never have agreed to move here, it's ... yeah, exactly! I don't know, I can't tell... maybe we should have come living with you in the first place. Yeah... "

She changes her phone from one ear to the other and tilts her head to take a look back into the room but she can't spot him from where she sits.

"He makes me so angry, mum! He's not helping with anything, never! Being a single mum would be less stressful, I'm telling you! And all those childish ideas he's breeding all the time....And he's lying to me, I'm sure of it. No, I don't know what about... No! God, no! That's the last thing I'm suspecting! Where should he meet someone? It rather is about money..."

She chuckles joyless.

While Maria is listening to her mother telling her a longer tale Bård stands and tries not to throw up. His chest is almost bursting with all the contradicting feelings he's struggling with.

"Bård..." He can feel Vegard's hand fisting into the back of his t-shirt. "Please, let's go!" he pleads almost inaudible.

But he won't. He will overhear this phone call to the very end and if it may kill him.

"Aww, mum!" Maria purrs. "That's so sweet of you! Is he pretty at least?" She laughs quietly. "No, seriously, I wouldn't even know how to have time for something like that. Yeah...yeah, I promise. If I'll decide to take the girls and move to your place you can introduce me to what ever men you know from your fitness classes. ...but let them at least be thirty, for God's sake!"

And that's it.

Now he's done. She pushed him over his boundaries without even knowing.

Aggressively he turns around and shoves Vegard aside, who's so eager to hold him back that he stumbles from the impact just like a normal person would. When Bård runs out of the house he can tell without looking back that Vegard doesn't follow. His body language obviously tells him not to and for now it is exactly what Bård wants.

He jogs away from the house, not even knowing where to go to.

Eventually he ends up at the waterside and hides, standing on the wet gravel underneath the boathouse , watching the tiered waves lapping at his feet.

It takes Vegard fifteen minutes to find him or maybe that is the time he has given him to cool down.

He notices how he is using his feet on the ground so he can hear him coming and has the choice to send him away.

He smiles silently.

"It's okay, come here." Bård says and Vegard appears by his side and joins him starring on the water, waiting patiently.

"What ...what do you think about it?" he finally asks.

"What do you mean?" Bård picks up a pebble and let it bounce over the surface of the water.

"Like when she's talking about leaving you ...or... actually as if she's already moved on."

Bård rubs his nose and takes another minute to think about the answer to that question.

He's been through all of it while he has been standing here. The unfairness of her words, the ache of hearing how low she thinks of him, the hint of wounded pride that she doesn't even seem to think he's capable of cheating on her, the fear clenching his chest that he may lose it all, lose his girls and after that right back to anger.

After having gone through all of that, there's only one feeling left that captures his entire thinking.

"You know what's strangest?" he asks, throwing another pebble.

"What?" Vegard's voice is calm, ready to give him all the assurance he needs.

Bård turns towards him and looks openly into his face.

"I feel like I really don't give a shit." he says, his eyes slowly roaming Vegard's face.

"How can you say that? That's your family, they belong to you!"

"I decide where I belong." Bård murmurs and his hands come up to clench into the collar of Vegard's training vest.

"Vegard, I need you to be present with me now, okay?" he says calmly, staring at his hands until he can feel that the fabric between his fingers has this natural touch he's used from his own clothing.

Then he let his eyes return to his face again.

"Don't ever fucking tell me where I belong!" he hisses and then he pulls Vegard close violently, their bodies colliding heavily, their faces ending up so close, their noses are almost touching.

There's only one more second of hesitation before he presses their lips together.

At the first moment, that comes like a shock, it's forced and hard but it only takes the blink of an eye before they get over it and it turns into a kiss. A real kiss. Like the he kiss of all kisses.

Their lips playing together softly and carefully, their breathes mixing and their hands finding the others face.

Bård didn't have too many kissing partners in his life but this is all he ever wanted of a kiss.

This is all he ever wanted of kissing Vegard.

He doesn't think he can stop doing this ever again.

When they finally part, their foreheads pressed together, their eyes still closed, Vegard lets his hands slide down to Bård's chest, his fingertips tapping a nervous rhythm into his sweater.

"What are you doing?" he whispers. "I'm not ... you have a family, we can't be like this, we..."

"Shhh... don't!" Bård silences him. "I don't want to hear any of this!"

He reaches down to Vegard's hands and holds them in an assuring grip. "It's a decision that can be made. A decision I made, okay?"

"Okay...okay!" Vegard's voice is even lower than usual and like breathless as he stutters his agreement.

Bård smiles a satisfied little smile, closes his eyes again and then he brings their mouths together for a second time.

Their kiss is so very soft and gentle, Bård never thought it was possible to be like this. He gets dizzy from all the little flips his stomach does and all the beats his heart seems to miss. All that his brain gives out for a long while is Vegard, Vegard, Vegard ... and the almighty feeling that they are save, they are right.

"I'm not scared!" he whispers into his mouth. "Are you?"

"Not when you aren't..."

"Don't be. We're good. We will be good!"

They can't help but smile at each other so bright it illuminates the others world, they arms come up all naturally to hold another and because Bård is a bit taller his arms fit perfectly around Vegard's neck just like Vegard's are wrapped around his torso. It's like they were formed to fit just like that and for a long while they stay in that perfect position, safe and sure, Bård breathing calmly into the crock of Vegard's neck, but after a while he can feel how the boy struggles with staying solid and he releases him.

"My feet are wet!" he giggles a little awkwardly now that that intimate moment is over.

Vegard grins. "I wanted to show you something, remember?" and without hesitation he grabs Bård's hand and holds two of his fingers in a loose grip while leading him up the slope and into the small wood at the top.

Bård has never made any effort to explore the thicket, only ever uses the path to the boathouse so he had no idea a place like that existed when Vegard stops at a small glade between the old trees. It's not even a real clearing, just some space between big stems that let in the sun, all uneven and packed with rocks and weeds.

All across the place there are at least fifty big sunflowers growing, stretching their heads towards the sun.

"What is this place?" Bård asks and stares agape. "Who did this?"

It looks unreal, like taken off a fairytale or one of those sappy fantasy posters from the nineties.

"I did!" Vegard giggles. "Last year when your uncle- cousin- relative moved out, there where two sunflowers growing by the back door."

He sighs and spreads his arms.

"Well, I love sunflowers and I was really, really bored. It took me days to pull off all the seeds from the head and stuff them into the ground here. But it looked wonderful as they grew. So I did it again this year, only a few weeks before you came. Do you like it?"

"It's gorgeous!" Bård breathes and takes a few steps into the  blossoming mess. "Sunflowers are my favorite!" he reveals.

"Mine, too!" Vegard says.

His eyes follow Bård as he steps further into the field until his feet hit a big, mossy trunk on which he sits down, astride.

Slowly Vegard follows him and sits behind him.

Without thinking Bård slides close and leans back against his chest so he can take in the sight of all this wonder around him from down under.

"It looks like living inside a Katie Perry video!" he laughs and he can feel Vegard on his back, laughing with him .

"Oh, is it too hard for you to carry me?" Bård remembers startled, looking up to him.

"No, it's okay!" Vegard assures him. "Nothing's ever too hard with you..." he adds under his breath and Bård smiles a little embarrassed and pets his knee.

"We should be living here." he sighs, letting his gaze wander all around the place. "Like little imps in a sunflower wood, our days filled with nothing but collecting food and riding rabbits."

"That would be nice" Vegard mumbles into his hair. "Let's do this!"

They know they can't, if anything they are to big to pass for imps and the world outside demands things from Bård to be done but for now they can pretend a bit longer that nothing exists outside this wood so they remain sitting on the trunk until the sun disappears and it gets cold.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some unspecific reason my brain refused to return into Vegard's head (Does that sound strange??)  
> Anyway, so from now on you're only getting Bard's POV. It does make sense though for the ongoing of the story anyway, as you will find out later.

[ ](http://s1297.photobucket.com/user/brittasydow/media/guiuz8_zps35abgusa.jpg.html)

"It's a Chesner!" Vegard says, his face turned upwards, blinking into the white daylight. "They're doing tourist flights from the air field down south."

He nods to himself as if to confirm and follows the small plane with his eyes until it disappears behind the trees.

Bård tugs one leg under his bum to sit more comfortably before he places the computer back into his lap and shakes his head, amused.

"I'll never get how you can even tell from down here!" he grins. "To me they all are just flying thingies."

"You can actually tell by the sound of the engine." Vegard says very seriously, as always when he's talking about planes. "They make this low 'brrrrrrm' while the big jets for example have more of a howling sound...."

He rambles on while Bård sits and fondly watches the wonderful boy he secretly calls 'baby' in his head for a few weeks now. It's not like he could talk to anyone about him at all anyway so his head is a save place to call him all sorts of pet names and feel ridiculous about it but his heart is just so full of him that it turns him into the biggest sap in the northern hemisphere.

They often come here to the roof of the boathouse to prepare the next episode of their podcast; they call it their office. It's like they're existing in their own alternative universe when they write new game concepts or do research about another nerdy topic to turn into some random absurdity that will make people laugh because they never looked at it that way.

They both love to get into everything science or language or history but nothing inflames Vegard as much as talking about planes. It seems as if he knows everything in the world there is to know about it.

"Why are you even so obsessed with flying?" Bård smiles, lazily leaning back on his arms after the endless gush of information pouring out of Vegard's mouth slows down a bit. "I mean, you can actually fly, no? You don't depend on planes or helicopters. That's cool, isn't it? A lot of people would sell their grandma to have that."

"Ahhh... it's not the same!" Vegard sighs. "Look, I can only erase myself like two or three meters from any solid object and levitate around a little - that's not _flying_! It makes me even more curious what it would be like to be up there, like really high, where you can see everything and can go everywhere..."

He spreads his arms and holds his nose into the air for a moment before he looks at Bård with sparkling eyes and continues:

"And then, what's utterly fascinating is the fact that those big square metal boxes are able to stay up in the air. Like all you need is a bit of aerodynamics and mechanics and there you go! That's incredible, isn't it? I always wanted to know what it feels like - is it like you're been carried around in a box? Do you feel the high? Or is it like being in a normal room, sort of...?"

"What?"

"Being in a plane. What is it like?"

Vegard beams at him with bold enthusiasm, eagerly waiting for his answer.

"Ohh... I don't know actually." Bård feels a bit like a douche revealing it and, add to that, a lot like letting Vegard down when he sees his jaw drop and his gaze turn incredulous.

"No way!" Vegard shakes his head. "You're never been in a plane? I thought everyone in the western world had nowadays, except for me of course."

"Huh, I have never been away from home, not that far that is. I never had the opportunity, my parents weren't the beach kinda persons, vacations has always been going to our family cabin when I was a kid."

He shrugs and breaks the gaze, looking down on the keyboard in front of him, slightly embarrassed. "And... to be honest - that thought scares the fuck out of me!"

"What thought?" Vegard's eyes go wide in surprise.

"What you just said. Being miles up in the air in a metal box, only carried by warm winds. That's scary."

"Oh...you're scared of flying?"

"I'm sorry, okay? I wished I could give you all the second hand experiences you ask for to make up for everything you can't do, being trapped here, but... I'm a pussy, as it is."

"Noooo..."

Vegard slides near and bends down to press a soft kiss on Bård's bottom lip, his hand combing through his windswept hair.

"Don't! Don't say that! I was just surprised, okay?"

Bård smiles into the kiss and then frowns deeply as he mumbles: "I can't tell you how sorry I am to let you down..."

Vegard pulls back and looks down on him skeptically. "You only want more kisses, don't you?" he asks with a growl.

" 'course I want!" Bård grins and happily awaits the ghost boy's mouth back on his.

 

He loves it when Vegard starts the kissing or touching. He still feels sort of invasive when he has to ask for him to become solid before they can interact. It is getting easier by the day though. Only a few days ago he realized that he can actually smell Vegard - and taste, for that matter.

"What do I taste like?" Vegard asked excited when he told him.

"What do _I_ taste like?" Bård gave back after he thought about it for a second.

"Don't know. Like you?"

"See?" Bård answered with a smile and his heart went warm with anticipation as he watched the boy's happiness about being one step closer to real - or normal - spreading on his face.

Everything feels real when they kiss like they do now. His warmth, the touch of his lips, his breath on his face.

His unsteady mind...

"What ...what was that?" Vegard suddenly giggles. "You are a pussy? What do cats have to do with it anyway?"

"Umm..."

Bård bites back a grin and tenderly pats Vegard's cheek before he shoves him back and sits up properly.

"I'll explain to you later, okay?" he coughs. "Let's finish this segment before it will start raining!"

"Okay."

Vegard shrugs and sits down opposite of him. Bård throws glances at him while typing on his computer. Seriously, nothing is more adorable than Vegard being naive like a ten-year-old. Hopefully he will preserve this side of him as his experiences grow, its precious!

Bård knows, he probably is a bad influence for someone like him but on the other hand, he's the only influence he has and Bård would do anything he can to make his life, his existence, he corrects himself, as pleasant and normal as possible.

He can't get over the fact though that he can't make it possible for Vegard to experience a plane ride, not even tell about one. The thought doesn't leave his head the whole time working on top of the boathouse. Very much actually. Vegard addresses it when they are done and leave the boathouse while the first raindrops start falling down on them.

"You were a bit distracted, huh?" he asks and claps Bård's shoulder as they walk down the path back to the garden. "I feel like I did the last segment all on my own, all you did was to agree on everything... which is nice but..."

"I was thinking."

"Yeah, figured that much."

Bård adjusts the computer under his arm and and clears his throat before he reveals the result of his pondering.

"I was thinking about you wanting a plane ride."

"What's to think about it? I can't." Vegard states soberly.

"No, but I can!"

Vegard turns to slide backwards and frowns at him skeptically. "Didn't you say you are scared?"

"Yeah, but that's the point. It's a bit irrational, isn't it? I mean millions of people are using planes every day. There seems to be nothing about it obviously. And isn't life about making new experiences? I thought I'm gonna make one and then I can tell you all about it."

Vegard's frown turns into a smile. "You'd do that for me?"

"Nooo... not for you! I don't wanna be a p... a coward. I need to man up!"

Bård's smirk turns mischievous when Vegard hums lowly and nods his head knowingly.

He stops walking as they reach the end of the path and step on the scruffy lawn of the garden.

"Actually..."

"Yeah?" Vegard asks curious when he stops.

"I thought about having a live show from a plane. You know, one of those tourist flights that we saw earlier. I bet you can pay them to do that. I mean you can do traffic reports out of helicopters - should be no thing to have a steady line to the radio station or to have you on the phone and figure out some nice little missions for me to fulfill."

"Oh my goodness...!" Vegard splutters and his eyes are sparkling with excitement, his gaze hopping from here to there as Bård can see his mind racing behind his forehead. "All those opportunities! I don't even know what to think first!"

"See, " Bård says with a soft smile. " _That's_ why I want to do this!"

He leans forward and brushes a kiss against Vegard's smiling lips and he doesn't need to ask for admission, Vegard couldn't be any more present.

"Do you think they will allow it? The producers and all?" he asks, excited like a child on Christmas eve.

"Hmm, the idea is great - or it will be great after we figured out what to do with it. I think it depends on the money. - Are we worth the effort?" Bård claims dramatically and spreads his arms just to bend down again immediately as the rain suddenly gets heavier.

"Shit!" he curses and tries to cover his head with the computer before it dawns him that it's probably a pretty bad idea.

"What?" Vegard grins, happily letting the raindrops fall through his metaphysical body. "Something wrong with the weather?"

"Twat!" Bård cackles before he runs towards the house. The heap of the summer seems to be over.

 

 

The weather remains ugly for the rest of the day so in the evening Bård pulls back to the 'studio' where Vegard can join him while he practices guitar and they can watch music videos on YouTube, wondering why their favorite music genre seems to be the only topic they will never agree about.

"What's so wrong with Grunge, though?" Bård asks a little impatiently. "I thought you liked our music!"

"Yeah..."

Vegard throws his hand up in the air like to form the sentence that refuses to come out of his mouth with his hands instead before he lets them drop into his lap again.

"You're doing a nice job, you and your band. It's cool to see you perform - even on film!"

He shrugs. "It's this Grunge music though."

"What's about it?"

"It's so negative. The music is destructive, the lyrics are depressing..."

"That doesn't mean it's bad music, does it? It's music with a message."

"I never said that. I said I don't like it very much. And I don't understand why you want to send that message you're talking about. You're nothing like that. You're a funny, pleasant, positive person."

"How did you know?" Bård frowns.

"Because I know _you_. I see what you're doing, I hear what you think about life. I mean - No."

"But... you can't tell!" Bård is not willing to betray his favorite genre so easily. "You don't know how I was before I met you! You have no idea what shit I've been through in life or, I...It feels good to play that music!"

"No."

Vegard is sitting sideways on one of the chairs, his back leaning relaxed against the wall and a barely visible smile is playing his lips while he looks at Bård seemingly unbothered by his protest.

"What no? You can't really know! You can't!"

"No." Vegard repeats. "I'd never started haunting you if you were like that music."

His smile has turned loving and knowing and Bård can feel a furious blush creeping up his cheeks.

"I...you..." he stutters before he slams the computer shut and jumps up onto his feet.

"It's late, I'm gonna take a shower!"

He turns and storms out.

 

He's not mad at Vegard. He even suspects him to be a bit right. It's not easy to come to the point where you can admit that your view on the world might be a little one-sided. Deep down he knows that he tends to blame others for his miseries, mostly because it's easier that way but if anyone is allowed to tell it to his face, it could be no one but Vegard.

Bård feels bad about acting out so bitchy, he needs to make up for it, he thinks when he towels his hair, still in the bathroom. It just doesn't feel right to make Vegard upset, he doesn't deserve it. Though he actually wasn't that bothered, it seemed, rather smiling slightly at him as if he knows about every internal struggle Bård is fighting. Always smiles actually, as if he's made of smiles - the world is made of smiles since Vegard appeared and, well - he seems to know. So he needs to apologize, no matter how awkward he might feel.

He finds Vegard spread on his bed on his stomach, flicking through an old computer magazine when he enters his bedroom in his boxers and a t-shirt only, his hair still damp.

"Ah, there you are." he mutters, closing the door quickly so Maria across the hall would not hear him talking and then he stands in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips and no words on his tongue, staring down on the boy on his bed. If only apologizing wasn't so uncomfortable.

"Hmm, wanted to say good night!"

Vegard vacates the bed and slides near to peck his cheek which leaves Bård grinning.

He slips under the cover without returning the whish, crawls back until his back is press to the wall and bats at the empty space he left on the mattress.

"Come back!" he coos.

Vegard stares at him with wide eyes and a little pale around his nose.

"What?" he asks, completely taken aback.

"Pshhht!" Bård hisses, his grin more obvious now though.

"We need to talk but we must be quiet. So come here and we can cuddle _and_ talk. That's nice. Or don't you think?"

"Okay...!"

Vegard fiddles with the hem of his shirt for a moment before he lays down awkwardly on the duvet and shifts until they're both facing.

"Hi!" he breathes and Bård can see his ever present smile returning. It's a little unsure this time.

"Hi." he replies silently. "Nice to have you here!"

"It is!"

Vegard is still somewhat fidgety and so he does what is his favorite, he talks.

"I don't need to have it comfortable, you know, I never spent the night in a bed or something like that, I rather levitate where ever it's nice. Actually it feels quite strange to lay down properly, kinda heavy. But it's cozy with..."

"I'm sorry!" Bård throws in mid-sentence because he never knows how to stop Vegard and he had no real plan how to start anyway.

"What for?"

Vegard frowns.

"For being such a brat earlier! I thought, you know, maybe you're right a little with my attitude and all. It's no fun being miserable all the time. It's fun to be a radio host. It's fun doing stuff with you..."

"It's okay!" Vegard's face is back to happy and it's oh so close and so utterly familiar, more than he ever thought was possible, and the world is fine again.

"You should believe me, though." he says lowly to keep his voice quiet. "You are a positive person and you've got so much to give, you're so full of talent for all sort of things. It's like you are a walking sunshine if you just want to!"

"Thank you..." Bård rewards the compliment with a soft kiss. "And you're sure, you're not just saying that because you fancy me?"

"Oh my god!" Vegard replies with a cackle that comes out a tad too loud so he muffles it with his hand. "I don't even know what's that supposed to mean! I don't know if the rest of the world sees you like I do but you're happier when you focus on making people laugh instead of curse them, right?"

"Yeah, or I'm happier because of you."

"Yeah. Or both."

"Both." Bård agrees and with a firm hand on the back of Vegard's head he smashes their lips together into a not so innocent kiss that leaves them both a little breathless after a few minutes.

 

Humming Vegard buries his nose in the warm little space behind Bård's ear, his hands coming up on his back to smooth away the forlorn strands of his still moist hair.

"You're wet!" he giggles but it doesn't seem to bother him too much because he doesn't remove his face.

"That's the concept of showering, baby!" Bård exclaims. "Which..." he emphasis through a pause. "...brings me to a thought I had earlier - you and your ability to make yourself invisible - do you sometimes sneak into the bathroom to watch me showering?"

"Wha..." Vegard shrinks back, startled, his eyes wide and his ears flaming red. "No! I don't! I ...no! I'm not like that!" he stutters.

"Hey...!" Bård drags him in for a hug, patting his back, assuring. "No need to freak out okay? I wouldn't mind if you did."

"Yeah, but still!" Vegard insists without looking up to him. "I just hoped you rather don't touch this topic at all. I mean, I can probably never... you know... and I feel so clueless anyway and..."

"We don't even know that though, so we? We'll figure it out if we want to. Kind of ...we haven't even started to explore the limits of what we can do and what we can't!"

"True." Vegard states with his forehead pressed into Bård's shoulder and they both think about it for a moment in silence, none of them willing to voice the thought they both daring to think for a while already - what if the progress Vegard is making continues like it did? What if one day he just sort of pops into reality and is a living person? Bård surely knows he's afraid to jinx it if he says it aloud, so he doesn't.

"I'd never push you to touch things you're not ready to." he says instead.

"Nooo! Don't say that!"

With an embarrassed laughter Vegard buried his face even deeper into his chest.

"Not like that! Not like that, idiot! Topics, I mean, not _things_ , you...!"

Bård chuckles and ruffles the wild curls at the nape of Vegard's neck. "You believe me, though, yeah?"

"Of course." he sighs. "And whoops - are we back to _you_ encouraging _me_! I was so proud to be the stronger one for just a few moments. I hate feeling like a stupid kid all the time!"

"Then stop that, okay?" Bård says, pressing his lips onto his hair.

"You just don't realize how much you support me. I think I just don't say it enough. It's true though."

Vegard wraps his arms closer around him and mumbles into the fabric of his sleeping shirt.

"What? What was that?" Bård asks with a little, surprised laughter and tries to lift Vegard's face from his shoulder.

Vegard pulls back a little and looks right into his eyes, his face flushed but brave.

"I said - I love you."

Bård stares at him, stunned and takes him in for the length of two or three breaths.

"Yeah... yeah, of course you do." he then says silently and a little absent minded.

"You know that that sounds a bid narcissistic, yeah?"

"Sorry" Bård smiles, his face still very calm and he brings his hand up to brush his thumb over Vegard's cheek bone. "I meant it doesn't really surprise me that you're saying that... because I do, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Bård nods slowly and let his gaze wander over the face right in front of him.

"Say it!" Vegard breathes."I need you to say it."

"I love you, Vegard." Bård says as serious as he can muster and then his self-control has reached its limit and he pulls Vegard back into a tight hug to silence his embarrassed giggles.

"Oh gooood, we're so cheesy, the two of us! I really can't stomach that!"

"Yeah, quite embarrassing, isn't it?" Vegard cackles back and they both hold onto each other and laugh until they feel less awkward.

"Do you stay here, with me?" Bård asks silently after their breathing has become even again.

"I know you don't sleep and all but I would really like that. No funny business, though!" he adds when he sees Vegard's face. "Just sleeping and, you know, being close and such."

"Hmm, it's not like I have places to go to, you know." Vegard hums his agreement. "It really could be nice staying here. For a change."

And because there's nothing more to say about that, it's exactly what they do and Bård falls asleep the most content he has ever been and what ever Vegard does, he's sure it will make him feel equal.


End file.
